“I NEED HER TO BE OK,” he almost roars, and then his voice breaks on the last syllable. In the background I hear Sienna hissing at him that he's going to wake the kids, murmuring things I can't make out, and then she's on the phone.
“Hey, Tar. Your big brother is having big feelings right now, so I think we'll let you get back to mom and talk more later, ok? I'm sorry he's being like this, we'll talk it out. He's terrified, and that's taken over his normally good sense.”
“Maybe I should have at least waited until he was caffeinated, huh?” I grumble.
“Nothing would have made this easier for him. If you had waited to tell him, he would have been mad that you had. It was a lose lose situation. Don't worry, I'll talk to him,” she says gently.
“Thanks, Sienna. I better get back to mom.”
“I’m just so glad she's stable. Please keep us posted, ok?”
“Will do, talk to you later.”
I go back to my mom, and she’s looking at me so sadly. “He's having a rough time dealing with all of this from across the country, isn't he?” she asks, her hands twisting in her lap. I let out a breath and rake my hands through my hair, trying to calm down afterour fight.
“I’d say so. We'll talk it out, please do not worry about anything but yourself right now, ok?”
“It's impossible not to worry about my boys.”
“We're adults, we'll be ok. More than anything he and I just need you to get better. So do that for us, please,” I tell her pleadingly.
“What my body decides to do is a little out of my hands, son, but I'll try my best and do everything the doctors tell me,” she tells me dryly.
The doctor comes in at that point and starts talking to my mom and me about everything in the chart, her vitals, and how the testing will go to determine whether she needs a stent or surgery. It's not exactly a shock that this happened, she tells us, since she already also had a stroke. Soon after, a tech is there with a wheelchair to take my mom to the cardiac catheterization lab. All I can do is pace, and wait. I update Carlo on what's going on so he can tell his family. Almost instantly, there is a barrage of texts from his parents and sisters wishing her a speedy recovery in the group chat Lucia had set up a long time ago. My brain completely did not compute texting the group chat, but it should have. I fill them all in at the same time on everything. In true Alejandra fashion, the first thing she says is she'll stock my mom's fridge so neither of us have to worry once we're home from the hospital. I have no idea how long we'll be here or if she'll be admitted for surgery, and the not knowing is killing me.
Since my brain is obviously not working, and my mom will be a while in the lab, I go in search of caffeine and food. The cafeteria is just as cold and stark as the rest of the hospital, and I hate it. Unbidden memories of watching my dad fade away in this very hospital assault me as I walk around, and breathing starts to become difficult. Hehad been such a broad, vital man with a huge personality. By the end, he looked like the most heart wrenching empty shell. It all happened so quickly too, as it usually does with pancreatic cancer. Watching a parent whither away, both physically and mentally, is not something I'd wish on even my worst enemy. It's the smell of the hospital that gets me the most. That overpowering antiseptic smell, combined with that undefinable smell of sickness, makes my nose burn.
Feeling a little better after some sorely needed caffeine and a bagel, I make my way back to the waiting area. My texts are still pinging from Carlo's family, and Val asking for an update. The Hernandez clan does not mess around when one of their own needs them, and my chest constricts that they include me and my mom in that. Alejandra wants to deliver food to the house late this afternoon, so I coordinate with Val to let her in. I thank Val profusely for it, and for saving her.
It gets me thinking of Seth and our fight again, because I'll be damned if he calls her “that lovely woman I pay handsomely.” I have nothing else to do but get lost in my thoughts while I wait. He and I don't fight much anymore. We had the normal brotherly tussles when we were young, but him being out of the house since I was 8 means there wasn't much opportunity for us to piss each other off. The more I think about it, the more I understand why he lost it. It doesn't excuse it, but I understand that both of us may be carrying resentment. He has his happy life on the other coast, while I'm happy living here with the memories and doing my thing. Both of us made those choices. I think sometimes we wish we could be in the other's shoes, though. There are times he gets homesick and wishes he could control things here, while sometimes I wish I couldlive somewhere else, where I don't have the day to day load of taking care of our only parent. Hopefully he and I will work this all out soon, and I can persuade him to fly out even for just a couple of days to see Ma after this scare.
After four or so hours of waiting, doom scrolling, thinking, and starting a new book on my app, I see a text come through from Lyra.
LYRA
Hey, you. I just wanted to see if everything was ok. The man I saw go by in the UPS truck when I went out to get the mail just now was definitely not as cute as you
I swear, the way this woman puts a small smile on my face even when I'm having the worst day.
Hey there, Firecracker. Not going to sugarcoat it, it's been a day, but everything should hopefully be ok. My mom had a heart attack, I've been at the hospital since early this morning. She's stable now, I'm hoping the Doctor will have more news on what the next steps are soon
Holy shit, I'm so sorry. That poor woman can't catch a break. I'm glad she's stable. Do you need anything?
Carlo's mom is dropping food off at her house, with enough for me too. I've got a book and will get lunch as soon as I have some news. I appreciate you asking
Ok, well if anything changes or you need anything let me know. I'm sorry again, Taran
Thanks, Lyra, I really appreciate it. I'll text you later when I have more info, ok?
Yes, please
About 15 minutes later, the doctor comes out and lets me know that my mom has had a stent put in, and is in recovery. She should recover fully and hopefully be ok with a medicine regimen and taking care of herself. The doctor wants to admit her and have her stay overnight for observation, so I quickly go to see her in recovery. She seems ok, to my immense relief. I let her know I'm just going to run home to grab an overnight bag. I'll find her room when I get back.
When I return to the hospital an hour and a half later, she's been admitted and I head over to her room to sit with her. I grabbed a few toiletries and a change of clothes for her too from her house while I was out. She's lying slightly propped up watching TV when I walk in, and she looks at me gratefully when I give her the bag I packed for her. After an hour of hanging out with my mom in her room, focusing on making sure she's ok and has everything she needs, I shoot off updates to the Hernandez group chat, Sienna, and Lyra.
I think I nod off for a bit in the chair while she drifts off in her bed, the TV droning in the background. It's 5:05 in the evening according to my phone when I wake up to a soft knock on the door. I look over to where my mom is still passed out from her long, arduous day, making sure her breaths are deep and even. Then I look toward the source of the knocking.
Lyra is standing there in the open doorway, looking so shy and uncertain. She has a visitor badge stuck to herpeacoat, and a bag from the best Italian place in the area in her hands. Her curls are gorgeously wild and windswept, eyes a dazzling deep emerald today, full lips pressed together in a bashful smile that I immediately want to kiss. I take a second to fully drink her in, from that wonderful face down to the tight jeans and ankle boots she's wearing. Her cheeks are gorgeously pink, either from the nip in the air or her nervousness showing up here, or maybe both. I'm moving in the next instant, so happy to see her that I crush her to me.
