“I like you too, Taran. So my situation is this: My ex-husband and I separated over a month ago, and we're working through our divorce.” I search his face for judgment or disgust, or anything at the fact that I'll be divorced soon. He's only studying me though, and listening, so I go on. “I’m not really emotionally ready to be romantic with anyone right now, honestly. It would also not be right for me to start anything until the divorce is final.” I'm not mentioning yet that Derek went ahead and started a couple of major things before the ink was dry; I want to be the better person here. He's still simply watching me, waiting for me to continue like he can hear the “but” in my last statement. There's no hint of anger, or exasperation that I don't want to date yet. “If it would be ok with you, could we start slow? Hang out a little and get to know each other? Become friends?”
“I’d like that,” he replies earnestly.
“You don't care that I'm about to be divorced? Or that I must be significantly older than you?”
He shrugs. “Not at all. As long as you don't care that I'm younger and have never been in a serious relationship, since we're going for transparency.”
“How old are you anyway, Taran?”
“28. That's not too young, I hope?”
8 years younger, and he's never been in a serious relationship at 28. This should be red flag central, but if he's not going to judge me, then it's a bit early and unfair to judge him. Hopefully I can get to the bottom of why this seemingly perfect, charming, gorgeous man hasn't been in a serious relationship as I get to know him. The walls are standing firm until then. I am not going to misjudge a situation as badly as I did with Derek ever again, so help me. As we continue to dance close, slowly swaying, I mirror his shrug and words back to him.
“Not at all, as long as 36 isn't too old for you.” He smiles and shakes his head in answer. Then I add for emphasis, “Too old for a friend, I should say.”
“Obviously,” he returns, but his expression is knowing. Mischievous. He leans in a little closer, breath warm on my ear, and adds, “Let's not forget who checked out who first though, yeah?”
“No getting cocky on me, or this friendship is revoked,” I tell him sternly.
“I wouldn't dream of it. I won't get cocky with you until you say so,” his innuendo blatant as he grins.
“I’m immediately regretting my word choice and this friendship,” I grouse, but there's not much behind it, because I'm trying not to laugh at his dirty mind.
“In all seriousness, Lyra, friendship and nothing else until you say so. I want to get to know you first,” he says, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze. “I know you must be going through it right now, and I'm happy to just be a friend to you if you need it.” I search his face closely, and it's pure earnestness. The mischief is gone, he's being entirely solemn and serious in this moment.
This feels like a dance within a dance, a call and answer as we start the process of feeling each other out. I'm not going to lie, I feel rusty and old after 9 years of being done with this dance. Do I even remember how to do this anymore? The music picks up pace again, and he reluctantly releases me from our swaying.
“Want a drink, since you never got one after that guy got in your face?”
“Sure, Gina drove here, so I can have a drink or two.”
We make our way over to the bar, where Gina is talking to her brother-in-law Gage. She sees us and waves, givingme the goofiest smile and thumbs up. Taran catches it and chuckles.
“I like her. How long have you been friends?”
“Over 25 years. We went to school together and she has always had my back. Every rough patch in my life, she's been there for me. I'd be lost without her.”
“That's like Carlo for me. We met in High School, and he helped me through the worst time of my entire life.”
I look at him, getting more and more curious about who he is behind his gorgeous smiles and effortless charm. Everyone has a story and hidden depths, and the pain in his voice when he says that has me brought up short.
“Since we're becoming friends, I hope sometime you'll trust me enough to tell me about that worst time in your life. You said you want to be there for me, to get to know me, and that goes both ways. I’ve already been a crying mess in front of you, for goodness sake,” I tell him quietly as I bump his shoulder. I'm going to be direct though. If he wants to get to know me, he has to reveal just as much about himself. Fair is fair, after all.
“It's not easy for me to talk about, but I don't mind talking about it with you soon. Let's just have fun tonight, though. We left our worries out on the dance floor and we should keep it that way for now. I won't bug you to tell me about what made you cry today either yet,” he replies, placing his hand on my shoulder with a soft smile.
The bartender comes over at that point and says, “Gage wants me to get you anything you'd like, on the house.” I look over at Gina and Gage, shaking my head at them. They both shrug, making identical goofy and hopeful faces. I've only met Gage a few times at family dinners, but he’s a fantastic guy. Apparently Gina has brought him up to speed,and he's going to meddle too. Fantastic. I mouth “thank you” to them, and order a margarita. Taran orders a water, no doubt because he needs to drive home soon. Not that I would question anyone who didn't want to drink alcohol.
“How did my favorite dog like daycare today?” he asks, switching to lighter subjects. My smile is involuntary at how invested Taran is in Brody. It's a huge box ticked in his favor that he's a fellow animal lover. I can't help teasing him a little, though.
“You only want to be friends with me because of my dog, don't you?”
He winks. That goddamn wink is going to be the death of me. “How did you figure me out?” he teases back.
I laugh. “He seriously did great, he was so exhausted from running around when I picked him up. I fed him dinner, and he was passed out when Gina and I left. You seem to love dogs, do you have one at home that's your actual favorite?”
He shakes his head. “With how long my days are, and not having a yard, it wouldn't be right. Hopefully I'll be in a position to have one at some point in the near future, I'd love to adopt a rescue or two.”
I nod in understanding, and then we lapse into companionable silence for a minute while we sip our drinks. I slide a glance over the other way, and Gina is still sitting with Gage, sipping water and watching us like a hawk. She shoots me an encouraging smile again, then turns to say something to Gage. He looks at us and smiles too before turning his attention back to the paperwork in front of him.
