He really is the most incredible roommate. There aren’t water glasses or dirty clothes everywhere, he keeps the toilet seat down (well trained by his sisters, he told me), and even has no problem throwing my clothes in with his if he’s running a load of laundry. After dinner on the nights we are both home, we hang out and just chat about dumb things we like and don’t like while we watch TV. As adventurous as he is, he’s petrified of snakes because, “the way they move freaks me the hell out,” to quote him. He also doesn’t like the texture of tofu, which he found out when he started to make an effort to eat less meat. I tell him how I could happily live on pasta but am completely grossed out by any kind of organ meat, along with bugs. He lives for summer, I love fall. He likes a side of adventure when he travels, and did a bunch of trips while “he was still young,” and living with his parents in his early twenties. Bungee jumping off of the Europabrucke bridge in Austria is one of the highlights of his life. I like chilling on the beach with a book. We’re so different, and yet I can’t help seeing how well we complement each other.
When we’re getting dinner ready or cleaning up, we move around the kitchen together effortlessly. His teasing and joking has brought out my more goofy side that I generally don’t show too much. He seems more settled, less full of restless energy with me. Our glances are becoming more lingering and our touches more natural. There’s always been an attraction between us, but this is more. I’mbeginning to like him as a person so damn much, he’s one of the best men I’ve ever met. It’s scary as hell. I don’t know what to do about it considering I had my shot already, stupidly turned him down, and I’m sure he’s written me off in order to move on. There is also still the issue of my serious reservations about getting involved with a coworker.
My mind drifts to Celeste. She’s been able to call a few times since I visited her and sounds ok. I need to go visit again soon, but I also want to have something concrete to show her, to give her hope. I haven’t been able to find a lawyer that will do pro bono work, or at least be somewhat affordable if I drain my meager savings. Of course she’ll still hear nothing about me trying to find her help on our calls, telling me to stop worrying about it. I’m being selfish, I know she doesn’t want to hear it and I keep pushing. The injustice of her sentence won’t allow me to let it go, unfortunately. My sister has been through enough and she doesn’t deserve this.
I have to put all of that aside for now and get my head right for my apprenticeship at the tattoo parlor tonight. I quickly changed at work and came right here, stopping for a chicken caesar wrap on the way. Living Arts Tattoo is about 30 minutes from work, so it’s not a bad commute. Most importantly, I really like it here. The owner, Brian, has been happy with how my skills are coming along. Ray and Diego both go here and love the shop, so when I decided to bite the bullet and apprentice 6 months ago, this was the first place I approached. He really liked my art portfolio, and said I have a whole lot of potential. The apprenticeship is only to teach how to tattoo and get certified, not teach how to draw, so the portfolio had to show him I have the chops to draw whatever someone wants. I dipped into my savings to pay the fee, and that was it. Heput me to work watching, listening, and learning every single thing about the sanitation and safety aspect. Then I graduated to learning how to make the needles, use the autoclave, and finally got to start using the actual tattoo machine. I’ve tattooed a whole lot of fruit skin at this point.
I walk into the shop to find Brian’s wife, Molly, at the front counter. I can see Brian in back with a client, along with one of the other artists, Mike, who looks like he’s wrapping it up right now. He is Brian’s cousin, and I love that it’s very much a family business. Molly knows how to tattoo as well, but she mostly concentrates on keeping the books and handling the appointment calendar now. Her recent rheumatoid arthritis diagnosis makes it too difficult on her joints to bend down and work the machine for any length of time anymore. She greets me with a big smile, the weathered lines of her face crinkling. Her wild, frizzy hair is almost completely gray and pulled up into a messy top knot that is already askew with strands flying around her face. Her loose, gauzy tunic billows as she raises her arm to wave at me, bangles clanging on her wrist as she does. She’s my favorite witchy woman.
“Hi, Tania,” she calls in her wispy rasp of a voice.
“Hey, Molly! How’s it going here today?”
“Busy, and we love it. Brian is almost done with Matty’s piece, but why don’t you go back and watch how he shades.” I thank her and head into the back, where Brian is shading in a massive skull with a snake slithering through the eyes on the dude’s pec.
“Hey, kid,” Brian says in his gruff voice. If Molly is the witchy woman, Brian is the grizzly bear. He’s the definition of big and burly, with slicked back black hair that has plenty of gray streaking through, and a bushy beard that makes him look like a mountain man. Every inch of his skin is tattooed except for his face.
“Hey, yourself. This looks so fantastic. I love how you did the scales on the snake.”
“Thanks. I’m glad you’re here to see some more shading.” Then he turns to his client. “Matty, this is my apprentice Tania. Ok if she observes while I finish your piece?”
“Sure!” Matty gives me a slow perusal and smiles at me. He’s good looking, older than me but not by much. I feel nothing under his attention, though. “She can observe me as much as she wants,” he goes on.
“It’s Brian’s technique I’ll be observing, not you,” I tell him sweetly.
“What about later? Doing anything?”
“Matty, stop hitting on my apprentice who is clearly not interested, or I’ll make this snake look like a pretty basket.” Brian’s tone is dry, almost amused, but still clearly a warning. He must know this guy for him to talk to him like that. Matty rolls his eyes.
“No harm in trying, Uncle Bri. How’d you get someone to want to apprentice with your sorry ass, anyway?”
“Shut up and let me focus on finishing.” I can tell their back and forth is teasing and familiar.
Brian talks me through how he is shading the snake, how much pressure to use to get the desired lightness or darkness. The scales of the snake almost come to life under his hand, with the differences in shading making it seem like light is dancing off of them. He reiterates his lesson that using a circular motion is more gentle than going back and forth. When he’s finished, Matty thanks him with a backslap, gives me a cheeky wink, and gives Molly a smacking kiss on the cheek goodbye.
“So that’s your nephew?” I turn to Brian with a tilt of my head as he cleans his station.
“Known him his whole life, his dad and I are bestfriends. He’s my annoying but lovable nephew in every way but blood.” I nod, smiling at how much shit they talked to each other while Matty was in the chair. He jerks his head at me.
“Your line work is really getting good. Today I want you to grab those oranges and work on shading in the lines you’ve done, just like I showed you on Matty.” I salute him and get to work. After a few hours my wrist is starting to cramp, but I shake it out. Brian comes over to inspect my work and he nods appreciatively.
“The pressure you’re using is looking good, you’ve got a knack for this.” From him, that’s practically falling at my feet with praise, and I smile hugely.
“Glad you took me on?”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” he teases. Then he stretches and yawns. “Ok, kid, I think we’re done for the day. See you Thursday, yeah?”
“I’ll be here. Thanks again, Brian.”
“You bet.”
I wave to Molly on my way out and head home. Carlo’s, I mean. How quickly it’s starting to feel like such a home is unnerving in a way that challenges everything I thought I knew about myself. I’m used to being on my own, having my own space for the last 7 years. I craved it when I aged out of foster care, and I needed that control and stability of running my own house with no one else having a say. No one could take my things away, yell at me for being in the way, or tell me to be quiet when I was excited to talk about something at the dinner table. Celeste was already on her own for years when I aged out, and I’m sure I could have gone to live with her in NY, but I needed to be on my own and figure out what my life would look like.
When I pull in and make my way up the stairs to theapartment, my heart starts to flutter. I’m excited to see him, to ask about his day, to tell him about working on my shading, which I know he’ll appreciate. We didn’t go to work together this morning, and didn’t see each other at the hub when we came back in from our routes. Warmth courses through me at how much I’ve discovered I like having someone to share with when I get home. Specifically, I’m really starting to like sharing with Carlo. I use my key to open the door just in time to hear him call out, “Hey, Castillo!” When I walk inside, my heart goes from fluttering to an absolute racket in my chest. He’s shirtless, barefoot, and in grey sweatpants on the couch, watching some action movie with his new best friend Gomez draped across his shoulders. His hair is damp and deliciously tousled, obviously fresh from a shower. My mouth goes dry as I openly gawk at him. I try not to look at the bulge, but I can’t help it. My eyes slowly go up to take in more tattoos he has on his chest. Fuck me, his right nipple is pierced with a little ring, and it’s so hot. He’s mostly stuck to walking around fully dressed in the time I’ve been here, though I’ve had a few quick glimpses of his muscular back coming out of the bathroom in only athletic shorts or a towel. He’s been trying so hard to be a gentleman to me in his space, and apparently that’s been a good thing for my heart and general well being. I’m short circuiting right now, and his slow smirk says he can tell.
“See something you like, roomie?” I swallow hard and try to get my shit together. He’s been so good to me, and I owe him some honesty.
“I’ve always liked looking at you, and you as a person a lot, Carlo. That’s never been an issue,” I confess quietly. “I just don’t like to mix work and my personal life, it has a tendency to get messy and end badly. Been there, done that, zero stars. Would not recommend.” His eyes searchmine as he gently puts Gomez on the couch, gets up, and moves closer.
