We sit down at the little table in his office and he goes over the minutiae of the tax laws involved, Spanish real estate conventions, how capital gains works, becauseapparently I’m barely an adult who hardly understands any of this. We go over a shit ton of paperwork as he breaks everything down for me in layman’s terms as best he can. After so many signatures that my hand almost starts to cramp, I become the official owner of a charming little villa style home on the outskirts of Barcelona in Alella, Spain. It’s overwhelming, to the point where I feel myself starting to go numb in order to stop the torrent of emotions. I try to hold on to that calm, cold numbness so that we can get to the more simple logistical questions that I’ve had since I’ve learned about this house.
“Were you here at the firm when my parents set up their will? Do you know why they made this house sit for 20 years before I could claim it?”
“I was here, in fact, and I remember your parents. I was about 30 and just starting to work my way up through the ranks. Your mom was very pregnant with you and they had just obtained their U.S. citizenship when they first came in. We’ve been managing their estate ever since.” Then with a sad smile he says, “I don’t think your parents were intending for it to sit for 20 years. My understanding, as I recall, was they intended to bring you there a lot and show you where they grew up. They wanted you to have it when you turned 25 to start creating your own memories with perhaps your own family there. There was obviously no way for them to know what would happen and that you wouldn’t be able to access it for 20 years. They made sure you’d be taken care of if the worst should happen, but that house was special to them.”
“What about upkeep and paying the taxes there? How has it not been seized yet, because I certainly haven’t been paying for it.” I’m worried I’m going to be walking into a complete disaster when Carlo and I go next month.
“Your grandfather left money to your parents when hepassed, and that has been held by us as part of their estate. You got a portion of that at the time per their directions, so did your grandmother obviously, but the rest has been held by us and we’ve been making the payments on your parents’ behalf mostly from the interest. That was part of what you signed today, you will now access the rest of that money for it to be used to maintain the house or whatever else you need.” I feel my face get hot, frustration burning through me.
“There has been more money sitting for me, and this house, when I could have really used it all ages ago to set my life up. They did take care of me, but things could have been so much easier if I had access to all of this,” I tell him through slightly clenched teeth. It’s not his fault, and not really my parents’ fault for not foreseeing how everything would play out, but my emotions are becoming a living, breathing thing as they take me over, and I’m trying my best to not fall apart right now. His face goes completely soft and sympathetic as he reaches to gently touch my shoulder.
“They prepared for the possibility of what tragically ended up happening, but I think they were unfortunately still unprepared for it happening so soon and so suddenly. Maybe this will help. If they were still with us, they’d have given you this letter and these keys with the paperwork and deed to sign on your 25thbirthday. Your grandmother entrusted them to us when she found them after the accident, since I believe she already knew she was forgetting things at that point. Hopefully it will explain some things.” I take the letter from him and open the envelope that has my name on it with shaking hands. The handwritten scrawl of the letter I take out tickles something in my brain, familiar and yet foreign, like a forgotten melody. My eyes immediately fill up as I start to read.
My dearest Tania,
As I write this, I’m watching you draw with a little divot in your brow, a concentrated purse to your lips, and intense focus in your gorgeous brown eyes that are so like mine. You’re now 3 and growing so much every day that it’s as though I blink and you change. Your curiosity as you continue to learn, your humor, your infectious laugh, are all awe inspiring and so full of possibility. Goodness are you stubborn too, but you come by that honestly from both of your parents. I could write what I want to tell you for pages and pages, but I’ll try to keep this more on the brief side. When your father and I came to this country with your grandmother from Spain for school and then work as teenagers, we were hoping for a fresh start. Your grandfather had just passed away and your father had no one keeping him there. You’ve probably heard the sad story so many times by now, but it feels right to put it in writing. Your father’s sister succumbed to cancer when she was just a little girl, and his parents were so grief stricken that they forgot they had a son. He was severely neglected. We became best friends in school because I was so drawn to the quiet boy with sad eyes, and he became a fixture at our housemore often than not. Needless to say it grew to be so much more than friendship as we got older. Then when we were all grieving my father after his heart attack, it was time to escape the difficult memories. We missed Spain terribly though, and always meant to go back to visit. The beautiful home we left is filled with so many cherished memories that counteract the bad ones, and we couldn’t bring ourselves to sell it. Your grandfather spent years of his time and love fixing it up into the most wonderful family home, it was his pride and joy. Your father officially moved in with me and your grandparents when we became serious, it’s where we began our life together. It’s the house that saw us making our plans for school in the US, plans for our future, our wedding, and of course our plans to have you, our beautiful and precocious daughter. Alella is a stunning and welcoming place, I loved growing up there.
Once we had our lives stabilized here and began making decent money, we did go back a couple of times. Instead of the memories being painful, it felt like a renewal. We saw it with fresh eyes and how much possibility it contained. We created more memories there, and on our last visit, you were created. With the costs of a new baby and how little time we’dhave, it was obvious it would be a long while before we could make it back. So we arranged for our dear neighbors to keep an eye on the yard, and put drop cloths on the furniture. They loved your grandparents and refused to take any payment for it. We get fairly regular updates complete with pictures, and I hope it stays this lovely for when we can start going back with you. By the time you read this, we’ve hopefully been able to bring you to that house enough that you adore it as much as we do. Who knows what your future will bring, but we want to make sure you have this important part of your family history while you’re still young enough to fully enjoy it. Your 25th birthday seems like the perfect time. We came to the decision recently and even added it to our will already, but I wanted to write out why we feel so much for the house while it’s still fresh in my mind. Looking at your precious face, I’m full of anticipation about our first trip there together and many more after that. Maybe you’ll even be in love when you receive it, and it can be the most meaningful of wedding gifts. Your father and I want nothing more than for you to fill that beloved home with even more memories, and have it continue to be cherished for generations to come. With the money your grandfatherleft, we’ve arranged it so that it should not be a financial burden to you, only what I hope will be a source of joy for you and any family you end up having. This has all been a little meandering, please forgive my rather stream of conscious thoughts when you read it my sweet girl. We both love you so very much. Happy 25th birthday, Mija.
My eyes sting so badly, and I’m rapidly blinking back the torrent of tears that threaten to fall. Elias hands me a tissue and I catch the few that slip. My entire body is shaking from the sheer volume of grief, wonder, yearning, and peace that reading my mother’s words is wringing out of me, like a heavily soaked towel getting wrung out to feel lighter. It’s the most I’ve had of her in 20 years, and the ache is both unbearable and welcome. My mom is this ephemeral being in my life that I can barely remember anymore, but this letter brings things back. I can hear her voice as I reread it, smell her jasmine scent that I must have subconsciously chosen for myself to take after her, feel her arms hugging me. Elias lets me have a few minutes to process and collect myself, excusing himself to get a cup of coffee and asking if I need anything. It’s been nearly two hours since he started going over everything with me, and my brain is starting to fry. I rub my temples before I quickly check my phone for notifications while he’s gone. Seeing a text from Carlo immediately makes me smile. He sent it not long after I got here.
Thinking of you, sweetheart. Let me know how the meeting goes, ok?
Hey, you. I think we’re about to wrap it up, he just went to grab a coffee to let me collect myself. It’s been emotional but good. I’ll show you everything when you get home tonight
I see the bubbles showing that he’s responding pop up immediately, like he’s been anxiously waiting for me to text him back.
Everything’s ok though? No issues with the house?
No issues, just a whole lot of information to take in, especially since it’s an inheritance from abroad. I’m officially a homeowner now
That’s incredible, I can’t wait to hear more about it.
Then I see that he’s writing more, so I wait to respond.
I’m glad you’ll be home early, because the fur babies seemed particularly needy this morning, not sure if you noticed. They’ll need cuddles until I can get home to cuddle all of you. This seems like an ordering in pizza and having a drink kind of night, yeah?
My smile is so huge it hurts my cheeks. I swear, this man lifts my spirits on even the hardest of days because he always somehow knows exactly how to do it. It works out well because last night I made great progress on my art to try to find my aesthetic at the tattoo shop, and Brian won’t be in tonight because it’s his and Molly’s anniversary. So I’ll be home.
Yeah, that sounds perfect. The kitties and I will be anxiously awaiting your amazing cuddles. See you tonight, baby. Have a good rest of the day at work
Ohhhh, I really like you calling me baby. See you tonight, mi sueño
When Elias comes back in right then with his coffee, I’m much better able to function and wrap things up with him. Then I rush to get home to those needy cats. Carlo makes good on his promise to cuddle us all when he gets home while he and I eat our pizza, have a beer, and talk through what happened at the meeting. He holds me so tightly when I show him the letter, his eyes shiny as he takes in my mom’s words.
“You can’t sell that house,” he whispers against my temple.
“No way in hell,” I agree.
He keeps holding me as we talk about going to see the house, which leads to talking about more future plans like trips we want to take, things we want to accomplish. Pretty soon the talking turns into getting tangled in the sheets, whispering sweet and dirty things to each other while we bask in the beauty of a simple night at home together.
Chapter 18
CARLO
“Are you ever going to tell me where you’re taking me?” Tania asks, a jokingly accusatory tone in her voice. It’s finally Saturday and we both have off, so I’ve planned a surprise date day for us. After her emotional day on Tuesday, I wanted us to go out and have some fun today. She seems so intrigued by what I have planned, but is also starting to get adorably antsy about not knowing what it is. Keeping her in anticipation is so much fun.
“Nope. If you can’t figure it out then you’ll be surprised.”
