* * *
Evie,Noah, and I have been eating back at our original table in the cafeteria. They try to be extra chipper to cheer me up, but it hasn’t really made a dent.
“Guys, I’m sorry. I suck. I know I do. It must be exhausting. You don’t have to try to entertain me while we eat to keep me from thinking about Ryne or whatever. It’s fine.” I smile softly.
Evie leans in to give me a hug. “Hush, you’re not exhausting, Dacen. You’re sad. And that’s okay.”
“Thanks, Ev. You too, Noah.” I take a deep breath and sit up taller. “This has to get easier, right? Like, I can’t feel this way forever? That would be the equivalent of getting a cosmic middle finger and that’s just rude.”
Noah chuckles. “I think this is one of those moments where we’re supposed to say things like ‘it takes time, you have to give yourself time to heal' or whatever other bullshit sentiments apply.”
“Noah!” Evie chastises him, but I actually laugh.
He smirks and continues. “That crap never helps anything. And honestly? Shocking as it is because he’s Mr. Aloof, the two of you make sense. Nobody who’s seen you within five hundred feet of each other would disagree. You’re drawn to each other.” He holds his hands shoulder-width apart and brings them together quickly, smacking them together when they meet. “Like magnets.”
Evie grimaces and begrudgingly nods. “He’s right, Dacen. He helps you chill, and you make him less robot and more human.” Then she looks at Noah. “But that doesn’t excuse his awful and confusing behavior toward Dacen.”
“It doesn’t,” I agree. I pick at my napkin, pulling small pieces off and rolling them into tiny balls.
Noah shrugs. “Has he acted like a jerk and made some bad decisions? Yes. But I don’t think you should give up on him just yet.”
“Why not?”
Noah props an elbow on the table and rests his chin against his fist. He looks over my shoulder and back to me again. “He looks miserable, Dacen. He usually glares or is all stoic-looking. I couldn’t tell ya the last time Ryne let his shields down at school and showed emotion like that on his face.”
I sigh and take a bite of my sandwich. That’s all well and true, but if he isn’t going to open up more and let me in—and freaking trust me—and get over his stupid hang-up with dating, I don’t see what other option there is but for us to stay apart. We eat in silence as my thoughts twist and tumble into a chaotic jumble.
Evie forks a bite of salad but lets it hover in front of her lips while she talks, changing the subject. “So have you had a chance to look into event planning more? Does it seem like something you’re still interested in? It’s definitely right up your alley.”
Ah, organization. The thing that’s kept me going. I’ve cleaned and rearranged my room about four times in the last week. It ended up arranged exactly the way it started, but I’m ignoring that. It’s more about the process. “Yeah, and it’s absolutely what I want to do. I don’t see myself changing my mind. I want to try to get a job this summer at Knoxton Event Center or someplace like that. I think it would be a good experience.” It’s a venue that hosts big parties and weddings and such.
“That’s a great idea!”
“Yeah,” Noah agrees. “My cousin works there if you want to talk to someone about it sometime.”
“That would be great. I’m totally up for that.”
He nods. “Cool. I’ll make it happen in the next few weeks if that sounds good?”
“Absolutely. Thanks, Noah.”
I’ve started looking into colleges and classes and thinking more about what to focus on in order to move into a career in event planning. Will wants me to move back to New York and go to college somewhere up there, but I’m not too keen on that idea. Georgia has more of a draw to it now than it used to, and I’m sure I can find somewhere around here to go to school for what I want to do. I love the idea of it and already have pages of notes in my planner from the research I’ve done so far. I’m feeling a lot better about that part of my future. So that’s something at least.
I peek over my shoulder at Ryne’s table and immediately lock eyes with him. Because of that damn pull. It’s as strong as ever. His expression mirrors mine: frustrated, sad, and lonely. Noah’s right, miserable sums it up pretty well.
44
Ryne
Imade it through another week without Dacen. It sucks ass. After school, I make my way out to the truck and buckle up, but then plop my forehead against the steering wheel and sit there a moment. The silence in the cab is deafening. So recently it’d been filled with Dacen’s laughter and constant chatter, heard over the music no matter how loud I had it turned up. The remaining bits of my shattered heart physically ache in the silence. When the engine roars to life I’m grateful for the noise; it blocks out the silent misery seeping from the gaping hole in my chest. I shift and head toward the parking lot exit but make a rookie mistake I haven’t made in ages; I release the clutch too quickly and stall while trying to pull out.
“Motherfucker!”
A horn blares behind me and in my rearview mirror—of all people—Jeremy sits talking on his phone while gesturing irritatedly my way. My hands have a death grip on the steering wheel and I’m ready to jump out and stalk over to him when my phone rings, coming through the truck’s Bluetooth. I glance at the screen and press accept.
“I’m about two seconds away from kicking Jeremy’s ass.”
“What?” Tyler exclaims loudly. “Where are you?” His voice is strained. He played hooky today. I have no idea why. He hasn’t fessed up.
