“Oh. Um, yeah. I could eat. Yeah.”
I incline my head and assess him closely. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” he whispers, then clears his throat and speaks in his normal voice. “And yes, I’m hungry. Dinner sounds good.”
I stand up and put my backpack on, then pick up both mine and Dacen’s duffle bags and throw them over one shoulder. I reach out my other hand to Dacen. “Okay, let’s go.”
For some reason, he stares at me like I’m speaking another language, but then grabs my outstretched hand. I hoist him up off the bench. We have to leave school separately since we each drove to school, so once we’re in the parking lot we make a quick plan. I’ll follow Dacen to his house, then from there we’ll take my truck and go grab dinner somewhere.
It hits me in the parking lot as I buckle up and turn the ignition. Not only did I kiss Dacen on the forehead but I held his hand from the locker room all the way to his vehicle, neither of which are things you do when you’re just messing-around-not-dating. I abruptly flop back against my seat and run my hands through my damp hair. I will not freak out. This doesn’t have to mean anything. For a hot minute I try to convince myself maybe Dacen didn’t even think anything of it but then recall the way he looked in the locker room, rubbing his forehead and answering my question distractedly, and the strange look he gave me when I reached my hand out.
“Fuckity-fucking-fuck.”
Look, I know I’ve got a mouth on me. I say the f-word a lot and that’s annoying. I get it. I’m capable of more intelligent words and using the f-word is sometimes lazy. But in certain moments it’s the best way to express myself when all other words fail.
Fuck.
* * *
We decideto have dinner at the diner, big shocker. It’s pretty much that or fast food. It’s definitely slim pickings around here for decent restaurant options.
“Have you been up to Camden Hill?”
Dacen shakes his head as he chews a bite of burger. He wipes his mouth, then places his napkin back into his lap. I bite down on my straw to hold back my smile. He’s the only person I’ve ever seen put a napkin on their lap here. Old habits die hard maybe.
“No. What’s there?” he asks after I don’t say anything else.
I shrug and set my drink down, then dip a french fry into ketchup and take a bite. “Nothing exciting, but they have way more restaurant choices there.” For the last half hour, I’ve been trying to gauge if Dacen is acting differently, but it seems maybe I’m the only one freaking out a little bit. If he’s freaking out, he hides it well. I need to stop freaking out. Nothing’s changed. Things are good.
Dacen picks up his glass and eyeballs me as he takes a drink, then sets it down carefully and picks up his burger again. “Did you want to go sometime, Ryne?”
He takes a bite and as his mouth is strategically full, I’m left to fill the silence with an answer. His eyes sparkle like he knows I’m over here sweating it out. They have a really good taco place I’ve been dying to take him to. I shrug noncommittally, my face giving nothing away.
The last few bites of his burger get gobbled up. He keeps looking from my face down to his plate and back again until finally, I can’t stand it anymore. “What? You look like you want to say something.”
Dacen drums the fingers of one hand on the table and then sits against the back of the booth. “I’ve been wondering if you’ve ever actually dated anyone.” He takes one look at my face and rushes to continue. “I’m not asking to freak you out or anything, so calm the hell down. I’m honestly curious.”
Below the table, my knee bounces up and down rapidly. “My freshman year I dated a girl for a few weeks.” Why? Curiosity mostly.
His eyebrows fly up in surprise. “Really. So what happened?”
I shrug again. “It stopped being fun. She was always wanting to know where I was going and who with. It got annoying. Hell, I probably got on her nerves too with my lack of responses.” I smirk at the expression on his face. “I don’t take well to being pressured into stuff, needless to say.”
Dacen gives me a wry smile. “Ya don’t say.”
“I broke things off but I don’t think she was all that disappointed honestly.”
“So who was it?”
I squint my eyes and grimace. “Isn’t this the kind of thing you’re not supposed to talk about because it gets awkward?”
Dacen shakes his head slowly. “Pretty sure that only applies to people you’re dating or want to date.”
Irritation flickers in my gut at his words. “Okay,” I bite out through clenched teeth. “It was Dani.”
His head rears back like he’s been slapped. If he looked surprised before, he looks completely one hundred percent shocked this time. “Dani? Danica Miller? You and Dani… wow. Okay. Evie neglected to mention that.”
I cross my arms over my chest and settle back against my side of the booth. Dacen grabs his glass and takes another drink, avoiding my eyes. He looks over toward the door and then focuses on who the hell knows what outside the window. The longer the silence stretches on between us, the more that flicker of irritation in my stomach grows until it’s a huge flame, and it’s not just irritation anymore.
