The drive back to her place feels softer after that. Jillie chatters sleepily from the back seat while Sadie drives through snow-covered streets lined with glowing storefronts and Christmas lights.
The town looks unreal at night.
Safe. Warm. Small in the best possible way.
I keep catching myself imagining what it would feel like if this were real. Not the fake dating. Not the headlines.
This. School concerts. Snowy drives home. Jillie kicking the back of my seat while arguing about candy canes.
The thought should alarm me more than it does.
My phone buzzes in my coat pocket. I already know who it is. The Blizzards group chat has apparently become emotionally invested in my life.
Toby:heard u survived tiny chairs
Liam:internet already posted photos
Caleb:Why are there ALWAYS photos?
Jamie:Because Colby forgot how to be anonymous.
Toby:important question: when are we becoming uncles
I laugh before I can stop myself.
Sadie glances over from the driver’s seat. “What?”
“My teammates think they’re hilarious.”
“That sounds ominous.”
“It is.”
Another text appears.
Jamie:You okay?
Simple. Direct. Captain behavior.
I stare at the message for a second longer than necessary.
Because the answer is complicated.
For months, maybe longer, “okay” has mostly meant:
functioning.
performing.
surviving.
But tonight? Tonight I stood in a school cafeteria listening to Jillie sing about winter lights while Sadie tried not to smile beside me. And for the first time in a long time, something inside me felt quiet. Not empty. Quiet. So I reply.
Me:Yeah.
Three dots appear immediately.
Jamie:Good.
