But that’s part of the reason I am thinking all these thoughts about Evie. I can’t get what Sloane said to me out of my head. It’s like hearing it for the fifth time was the charm. It’s permanently sunk into my brain. I had to give myself five and a half weeks tolet it sink as far as it did, but it’s in there. I’m in love with my best friend and I have been for a long time.
And now that she’s here, I can’t drag my eyes away from her tits, swaying ever so lightly against the jacket. I wonder if the friction is turning her on—
“Ow. Shit.” I look down and see blood oozing out of my finger.
“Oh my God, Zander. I can’t believe you cut yourself.” She reaches for something on the island and shoves it in my face. I think it’s paper towel, but I’m too stunned to notice.
“Sit down,” she instructs, and my legs must have ears because they heed her words.
She’s moving about the kitchen as I watch her, and then suddenly she’s stepping between my legs with a wet cloth.
“Here.” I drop my uninjured hand to my thigh after she removes the paper towel from my locked fingers and presses the cloth to my finger.
She’s shaking her head at me. “What the hell were you doing, you goof?”
I can’t tell her what I was thinking. That’s clear.
“Just distracted.”
“Good thing we were almost done, then.”
I hear the words she’s saying, but my fingers are so closer to her bare thigh, that I just have to touch her.
Slowly, I wrap my hand around the back of her knee, pulling her a bit closer. One of her hands falls to my shoulder.
I’ve touched her before. Held her hand. Touched her bare thigh, I’m sure. But everything inside of me has shifted. Without her. I know I’m paces, hell, miles ahead of her.
This is the first time that I’ve ever felt like I’m in a different place than she is, yet she’s right here in front of me. I’m touching her, but she’s not within my reach.
I want to slide my hand up the back of her thigh and pull her onto my lap. I want to tell her how I feel.
But I can’t.
I’m the one who makes her feel safe.
And after everything is said and done, friends are safe. Intimacy isn’t. If I try to go there with her when she’s not ready and it fails, I could lose her.
“You okay, Zander?” Her voice begs me to look up at her. I crane my neck and feel her fingers twitch on my shoulder. It’s the third time she’s asked me the same question tonight, and I realize that she’s probably asking it again because I’m not giving her a truthful answer for the first time in our friendship.
“I’ll be fine.” I give the back of her knee a squeeze, somehow thinking that makes the gesture platonic. “Let’s go to this party.”
She puts a bandage on my finger because she insists on doing it herself. She’s the doctor. Ya, I can see that. She’s all I can see. I just wish that she had some kind of bandage to protect my heart.
Chapter 3
Evie
“Costume contest!” Sloane, Zander’s ex, shouts over the music that the DJ is playing while the band takes a break. The barn is big, but the people nearest to her, including me, can hear her just fine.
She’s drunk. Like, the annoying kind.
Hunter and Nolan slap Zander on the back as they walk past, sharing some smirks as they head over to their girls. What are they smirking at? They’re not the kind to demean someone like Sloane, even though she’s drunk. Then I see their eyes flounce between me and Zander. Damn it. Is this costume too skanky. What was I thinking? But they’re not the judgmental types…so what are they smirking about?
I check Zander’s face and I think I see a slight flush brushed across his cheeks. That’s odd. He’s not the type to embarrass easily. Then his hand reaches behind me to gently graze my lower back. It’s not a protective move, it’s actually more affectionate than anything.
Eli hands Zander a red cup and gives him a cheers before striding over to Summer. And despite his grim mood, Zander smiles back. Not his full smile. It’s just shy ofI need another drink even though I haven’t finished my first one.
If either of us had known that his ex would be here tonight, we probably wouldn’t have come. I say that now, having been told the news. But the Jenson boys hosted this as an open invitation to the Happily Ever Pastures ranch. There’s acres and acres of space with all kinds of activities going on, so eventually we’ll be able to avoid her. But with her narrowed eyes glaring at me, this is not that moment.
