For her, though, I’d do it again.
For Rosalie Bishop, I’d give my life.
And that was evident as I continued to chip away at what was left of my soul with every pull of the trigger.
This was what it meant to be in.
Even if it meant being without.
2
ROSALIE
Idrew in a deep, calming breath and closed my eyes, Anson’s words on repeat in my head as I clutched the pink, bejeweled microphone he and Evan had custom-made for me.
You’ve done it a thousand times, LeeLee. What’s a thousand and one?
I blew out the breath that was burning my lungs as the thundering of the crowd sounded out around me.
I’d wanted this. I’d dreamed of these moments. But as I stood beneath the stage waiting to be raised in front of the crowd in my tight black dress, all I wanted to do was cry.
I caught sight of Ryder, who frowned and took a step toward me.
“Are you OK?” he mouthed, concern on his face.
I swallowed and shook my head. I felt like I was going to have a panic attack.
Ryder made to move toward me, but it was too late.
Before a tear could fall, the signal came, and I was raised to the center stage. I forced the sadness away and fixed the fake smile I’d perfected over the years onto my face in the darkness as the crowd roared around me, screaming my name.
Bishop! Bishop! Bishop!
Victor’s heavy drums pounded my intro. Lights flashed. I had to. I couldn’t let my sadness get to me.
I opened my mouth and let out the first line of my newest hit fall from my lips.
We built a world almost a thousand miles from home.
Fans rushed the stage. Security formed the line I’d seen thousands of times. I sang, taking in every face I could. Some fans stood staring at me in awe as others jostled and screamed around them, tears streaking down their cheeks. Others jumped up and down, holding signs.
Every time I try to hold you, the universe says no…
The song poured out of me as I moved on stage, dancing the routine I’d gone over a million times. Move against Hex. Cradle Cas’s face. Lean into Bane. Prance around the drum rise.
We dance between the moments, like lightning in the rain…
The song ended to thundering applause as I stood staring out at what I’d always wanted. However, something was missing, and it had been for the last almost five years.
Years had flown by. We walked out of each other’s lives, and it was like they’d never existed to begin with.
Like I’d never existed.
And this was me now—a girl with a microphone and a broken heart with thousands of people screaming my name.
Beneath the sadness I masked, I did have love and joy, so I couldn’t complain, but I also still harbored anger and confusion about how it all went wrong when I thought everything was so right.
The things the horsemen did—cheat, marry, impregnate another woman—all when everything was falling apart. The betrayal cut me so deep that it became the subject of many of my songs.
