The thought sickened me, but maybe I needed to prove it to myself.
I released her hand and swallowed. It didn’t feel right. Or maybe that was my guilt talking.
“You should go home,” I said thickly. “Don’t let me distract you.”
“I like it when you distract me,” she murmured.
I closed my eyes and breathed out.
“I need to get this contract done. I have a lot to do yet tonight. Go home, Jade. If I need you, I’ll call you.”
She hesitated for a moment before she slid off my desk. I watched her ass sway as she went to my door.
Jade was a sure thing. I knew she was. I’d likely not have to put much effort into her, but I suppose, like other women, she liked my bank account more than me.
But honestly, fuck it. I had only ever loved one woman and knew I’d never love another again. Any woman I hooked up with would just be for marriage and children. Someone to have on my arm at events. I needed an heir.
I pushed the thought out of my head as she left the room, hating myself just a little bit more.
I sat alonein my dark office overlooking the city later that night, Rosalie’s livestream playing on my computer.
Try as I might, I couldn’t focus on the fucking contract. All I kept thinking about was how odd my hand looked with Jade’s and how Rosalie’s hand fit better in mine.
I was an idiot.
I hadn’t planned on watching the stream, but I somehow found myself staring raptly at her while she sang, looking more beautiful than I remembered her.
Her lyrics twisted my heart and smashed it to pieces. It was clear that we’d had a hand in a lot of them. It broke my damn heart to know the pain I’d caused her.
She’d definitely had a song directed at both Cole and E. I was sure they weren’t happy about it, but it was what it was. The song for me made me mute it. I didn’t need a reminder of my sins.
I knew watching the show with Cole would make shit worse, so I stayed away. He was pissed, and I understood why. I wasn’t exactly being nice, but fuck, he was like a damn dog with a bone when it came to her.
I’d been dealing with it for years. At some point, I had to admit that none of this was working with him. He was hurting. I was hurting. E, well, he’d come a long way and was focused on working and Riot, so it didn’t leave a lot of time for him to feel what Cole felt. Or what I felt.
In fact, E was probably the strongest out of all of us. Time and having a kid changed him completely.
He was darker. More twisted and violent, but he had something to prove. To save. So he buckled down and did it.
I did it the best I could, too, but E did it with ease. I struggled. And Cole? He definitely struggled.
I needed to talk to E about it all. I’d been thinking lately that I would speak to Dante Church about renegotiating the terms of our arrangement. I’d stay away from Rosalie forever, as promised, and would forfeit rights to her, even if she returned to me on her own. I’d tell E about the deal and see if he was interested in offering himself up so that we could free Cole from the agreement. Dante Church wanted two bodies in the contract. That could be me and E.
Then…
I’d let Cole go.
He could try to get her back and have the life he wanted.
I hadn’t told him yet. I needed to speak to E about it first before I ran off and made life-altering decisions for any of us, but it was definitely my plan.
Cole loved her. Without a doubt, he was meant to be with her. He deserved to have her and the family he always wanted. I didn’t know if she’d want fuck-all to do with him, but I had to give him that chance.
If she didn’t want him, then at least maybe he’d move on with his life.
I wanted that for him. His happiness in any form I could get it. Same for E.
I had a lot of work to do to make that a reality.
