I wiped at my eyes. “I know the feeling.”
“You’ve met someone?” Her voice shook.
“No,” I said immediately. “No. I don’t date. I don’t even talk to women past business or the work I do with Mayfair. I was talking about the first time I saw you. It was love at first sight.”
She was quiet again. “We shouldn’t talk to one another like this.”
“Like what?” I asked gently. “I’m not trying to hit on you?—”
“I loved you at first sight, too,” she cut in. “In case you didn’t know. I guess I wasn’t sure what it was at the time, since I was young and had no experience, but I did. I knew you were…” her voice trailed off.
“That I was what?” I pressed, desperate to hear what she had to say.
“The one,” she finished sadly.
“I could be,” I whispered, the feelings crushing me. I knew I could never be. Not now. She was married, for fuck’s sake. Plus, it would be a mess. I had a son. I had Cole and Enzo, too. They’d lose it if they found out I managed to get her back from under them and was going to run off into the sunset with her. Cole more than Enzo, since he seemed checked out on the entire thing. Plus, I was going to take Cole’s place on the contract. This whole thing with Rosalie was just wishful thinking.
“We should keep things on a friendly level,” she said, her voice wavering. “Remember what we talked about in that coffee shop?”
“We wouldn’t ask one another to leave their life. One conversation with you has me coming back to life after being dead for so long,” I admitted.
“Then maybe talking isn’t a good idea.”
“I’m not going to wait until you have your first kid to message you and congratulate you, Rosalie. We can be adults. I’d rather have you as my friend than nothing,” I said fiercely, meaning it. Although if Church agreed to the new contract, I wouldn’t even be able to be her friend.
She was quiet again.
“Rosalie?” I ventured carefully.
“Sorry. Yeah. Let’s just talk. Friends. Um, how is everything? No dating? Nothing?”
“Nothing,” I admitted.
“Why?”
I shrugged as if she could see me. “I have no desire for it. I’m good the way I am.”
“Aren’t you lonely?”
“No.” I laughed. “Trust me. I’m pretty busy. There’s no time for loneliness.” I paused. “I mean, I guess sometimes the nights are lonely, but, and forgive me for saying it, it’s only ever been you.”
“Oh. You haven’t been with anyone since…?”
“Not since we broke up,” I said gently. “It doesn’t matter, though. I’m better off this way. I am happy, even if it sounds like it’s dull and uneventful.”
“That’s a good thing,” she said. “I’m glad you’re doing well. That you’re happy. I’ve always wondered. I-I always worried about you.”
“You can call or text me whenever you want. I’m never too busy for you.” Fuck, I’d have to ask Church if he were open to further negotiating the contract. Now that I had her on the line, I wasn’t so sure I could let her go.
She breathed out. “I might.”
“I would love it if you did. Maybe someday I can meet your husband. Evan. We-We might be able to be friends.” I winced at how pathetic I sounded.
“Um, yeah. Maybe. Evan is… he’s not very social. He prefers his solitude. It’s just how he is.”
“I get it. I’m just saying I’d like to get to know him, maybe. I’m sure if you are talking to me, he’d want to know about me, too. I don’t want to be stepping on any toes.”
“Sure. Yeah. You’re right.”
