I knew that wasn’t a fucking lie.
56
COLE
Enzo finished making dinner because Rosalie didn’t come back. I assumed shit went south with him in the kitchen, and that was why she left.
I didn’t ask.
Instead, I ate my dinner, my heart happy because I hadn’t tasted this kind of meal in forever. Enzo rarely cooked. I think it was because it reminded him of Rosalie.
Anson had gone upstairs not long after Rosalie had, so it was just me and Enzo downstairs.
I watched as he picked at his food.
“Eat, man. It’s amazing,” I said, chowing down.
“I think I’m tired. I’m going to go to bed.”
I sighed. “Come on, man?—”
He got up and patted me on the back. “Have a good night.”
And that was it. He left me sitting alone at the table. I finished before putting everything away.
I wandered upstairs, wondering if maybe I should offer Anson a blanket for the couch because there was no way in hell he’d be able to fit in bed with Rosalie and Ellis.
Deciding maybe I’d be the good guy, I went into my bedroom to grab an extra pillow and blanket for him, only to find him and Rosalie waiting for me on my bed.
“Hey,” I said, confused. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Rosalie said, getting to her feet and coming to me. I swallowed as she stopped and stared up at me.
“Cole?”
“Yeah?” I choked out.
“Do you love me?”
Did I love her? How do I tell her I yearn for her without sounding like a complete chump? I wasn’t sure, but when I considered it, I realized I just didn’t give a damn how I sounded. The only thing that mattered was the truth about my feelings.
“You ask if I love you like the last few years didn’t just crawl across my skin and carve your name into my soul.” I stared down at her for a moment like I couldn’t believe she was real and standing in front of me instead of out of reach behind a TV screen. The entire time she’d been with me, from the hotel to now, seemed surreal.
“Do you know what my mornings have looked like without you?” I asked quietly. “Coffee cold as I sat mesmerized by you on screen. Award shows on, so I could catch a glimpse of your smile as your dreams came true. Buying out all the magazines when I saw your face on their covers because it was the closest thing I had to touching you again.”
I swallowed, completely entranced by her beauty as she stared up at me, lips parted, and brows crinkled.
“I knew when you cut your hair. I knew when you took off Blossom’s ring and your thumb went bare. I knew you were lying in your interviews because you’d twirl one of your curls to try to avoid the reality of the question.” I let out a bitter laugh. “Five years apart and I still knew you better than anyone standing beside you.” I took a step closer, completely invading her space.“And every single night, I replayed the moment I walked away because I deserved to live that pain on repeat for being so stupid.”
I closed my eyes to compose myself. I’d been keeping all this shit locked inside me for far too long. I didn’t give a shit if Ass Hat was sitting on my bed, hearing it all. Maybe he’d finally get it through his damn head that she would always be my girl.
“I thought leaving was the right thing. Thought maybe I was protecting you from me, from our life, from all the ugly things in our fucked-up world.” I scoffed. “Turns out all I did was spend five years ripping my own heart out with my bare hands while the world got the pieces of you that were once mine.”
I reached out and cradled her face.
“Do you have any idea what it’s like to love someone in silence while millions of people scream their name? I sat in my dark room, watching men interview you, who didn’t know what I knew. They didn’t know your fake laugh from your real one. They didn’t know you bite your bottom lip when you’re tired. They got the Rosalie who lived in the spotlight.” I lowered my voice. “But me? I was the one who knew your soul. So don’t ask me if I love you.” My voice shook. “I’ve loved you so long it stopped feeling human. It became part of my being. Part of every regret. Every prayer. Every goddamn thing.”
I paused. Tears glimmered in her pretty green eyes.
