“Can I ask you something kind of personal?” Bella asked after a quiet moment.
“Hmm? Of course.”
She hesitated. My mouth popped open to reassure her that whatever it was, I wouldn’t mind, but I decided to give her time to gather herself first. Instead, I placed my hand on her thigh, with my palm facing up. She took my hand and then asked, “Have you always been with women? Have you ever been with a man?”
I exhaled a sigh of relief. If that’s all she wanted to talk about, it was no big deal to me. Ever since I came out to my parents when I was sixteen, I’d always been very open about who I was and my sexuality when meeting new people. “No. I mean, I kissed a couple of boys just to feel things out when I was a freshman in high school, but at that point, I was already ninety eight percent sure I was a lesbian. I only kissed them to make sure I wasn’t bisexual or something.”
“So, just women?”
Bella squeezed my hand. I squeezed hers back. “Just women. But don’t worry about that, okay? If you’ve never been with a woman, that doesn’t make you any less bisexual, you know? I’m not worried about it.”
She sighed in relief, then leaned her head on my shoulder. “Yeah. I’ve never been with a woman.” Bella paused. “You were my first kiss with another woman.”
“How was it?”
Bella laughed. “Better than any man I’ve ever been with.”
“No way. For real?” I asked as if I was surprised, but who was I kidding? Women werealwayssuperior in my book. In every way.
Bella sat back up so she could face me. “For real.”
CHAPTER 09: BELLA
Normally, talking to someone new about things so—intimate—would make me freak out a little, but talking to Cam didn’t make me feel that way at all. If anything, her presence did the opposite. She calmed me down. She made me feel safe, despite only meeting her an hour or so ago.
“Tell me about living in Monticello,” Cam said. “Do you like it there so far?”
We had naturally moved so that we were sitting in front of one another, both of our legs crisscrossed. My knees bumped up against hers. A gush of wind swirled around us, and I shivered. I had a feeling it would be a while before I was fully warm again, but I didn’t mind so much. Cam was a good distraction from my soaked clothes and sticky skin.
“Well, I like the town. It’s small, but kind of charming, you know?” Cam nodded in agreement. As a Tallahassee local, I was sure she’d been to Monticello before. It wasn’t a far drive. “But it’s kind of lonely. I don’t have any family around and I have like, one person at work who I’m friendly with, but notfriendswith quite yet,you know?”
Cam hummed sadly. “That does sound lonely.”
“And before I lost my job back home, I also went through a nasty breakup. So… being in a new place, not knowing anyone, getting over that… the last half year or so has been kind of a dark time for me.”
Cam leaned forward and brought me into her arms. It felt more than natural to hug her back, so I did. I held her close, and held on tight. “Well, now you know me,” Cam murmured in my ear. She pulled away and smiled.
I laughed. “You’re such a kind person, Cam.”
She stuck her tongue out at me. “You don’t know that. I could be a secret meanie!”
I arched my brow. “Are you, though?”
“Pffft.No.”
Even in the dark, Cam was stunning. Despite not being able to have a clear picture of her, I’d looked at her so much during our photoshoot that her eyes and her smile shined bright enough in my memory for me to imagine her perfectly in the darkness. I felt kind of vulnerable sitting there with her. No lights, soaking wet. It was a comfortable kind of vulnerability, though. Almost as though I’d been waiting for her my entire life without even realizing it, and now that she was there, I could finally settle down in my own skin.
The rain began to ease, and the pounding on the roof died down significantly. It smelled like fresh rain and wet grass and dirt. I took a deep breath in as the smell brought me back to summers getting rained out at camp, sitting underneath porches and listening to the rain as we waited for the sun to come back through the clouds. “This is weirdly kind of romantic,” I noted after a while.
Cam snorted. “Despite being cold and wet? Absolutely.”
“Maybe we can warm each other up?” I asked hesitantly.
I could feel Cam grin at me. “I like the way you think.”
Her hands found my thighs, and suddenly my skin warmed up despite the drenched jeans that were glued to my legs. Anticipation bloomed within my chest and expanded down to my belly and up into my throat. Nerves erupted like thorns, but I welcomed them when I realized they were due to diving into unknown territory, but territory I had wanted to explore ever since my adolescence and had yet to have the chance to.
I was ready.
