“Can you unzip me, please?” she asked quietly.
I sucked in a breath when she turned around. My hands trembled as I ran my hands up from her hips to the top of her shoulders. Shana threw her head to the side as I slowly unzipped the dress, taking care to not damage the material, and pressed light kisses against her neck. She smelled like something floral mixed with peppercorns. It was different from her sweet pea scent from back in the day.
Shana pulled the dress off her shoulders, letting it pool on the floor underneath her. I hadn’t realized just how in shape she was underneath that dress, but it made sense with her active lifestyle as a photographer. I stepped back and turned around, letting her get dressed in peace, though that was the last thing I wanted.
I unbuckled the armor around my waist and hips, pulling them off and setting them neatly on the bed. I pulled my shirt off to change into an oversized hoodie, but stilled as her hands traced the tattoo on my back. I closed my eyes, enjoying her soft touch instead.
“This is beautiful,” Shana breathed, a single nail softly pressing into my skin.
“Thank you,” I replied, goosebumps erupting across my skin.
The tattoo was on my full back, from shoulders to asscheeks. It depicted a woman holding onto a wolf skull, seemingly lost between life and death, standing on a bed of skulls in the middle of the grove behind the house. My friend and mentor, Gon, had done the work.
When she’d had her fill, I pulled the hoodie on, sans bra. I left on the leggings I’d been wearing under the armor. I grabbed some blankets, thinking we could go back into the living room and make a fort to relax in. Who said we couldn’t build a fort in our late thirties?
“Would you like any help?” Shana asked.
I smiled, though she couldn’t see it over the pile of blankets covering my face. “Sure. Could you grab some pillows off the bed?”
I made sure I wouldn’t trip over Beau as I carefully made my way back downstairs. I hadn’t forgotten Shana’s question from earlier, and I wasn’ttrying to avoid it. I just wasn’t sure how exactly to talk about something that was going to change her entire life as she knew it.
Beau was already curling himself up on the couch when I got to the living room, so I playfully threw the blankets on top of him, and he huffed loudly. I laid one atop the area rug in front of the fireplace, then started building around it. Shana stood back with a grin on her face, handing me pillows or blankets while subtly making suggestions on where to place them.
Finally, she crawled into the fort, and I tied off a sheet from the exposed beams above our heads to serve as a backdrop. It was quiet and intimate, and just what I’d envisioned. We used to do this all the time when we were young. It was our way of shutting out the world and finding a judgment-free place to express ourselves. We could strip down, tear the masks off, and just be.
I stepped out of the fort to light the fireplace, and as I lit the match, I was bombarded with the memories of us rolling through my head like an old cinematic film. Pops of color, but many black and white memories where part of the memory had burned and popped on the screen. So many of those memories were happy, and I was determined to keep our reunion as happy as possible.
I crawled back into the fort. I’d been so distracted as we changed that I hadn’t realized Shana never put pants on. I laughed. She’d always hated them, whereas they were my comfort clothing. I laid back against the bottom of the couch, pulling her close to me. She laid her head on my chest, and I casually ran my fingers through her hair.
“So,” I started.
“So?” Shana asked.
“I want to know everything, and I’m sure you do, too. But we have time, right?” I kissed the top of her head, praying that this wasn’t going to be one night only.
“We do need to talk, yes. I have missed you. Fuck, Charlie, I grieved you for years. I avoided coming home for years because I thought you were dead,” she choked.
I held her closer to me, my hand against the back of her head. “I’m so sorry, Shana. I swear to you, I will tell you what happened. I’m not trying to avoid the conversation, but before I tell you, please tell me that you have lived your life as openly and authentically as possible. I need to know you have been happy.”
She sniffled, but nodded. “I have. Someone once told me the best revenge was living your life to the fullest. I might’ve taken that to heart.”
I chuckled. “That person must have been very smart.”
She playfully shoved me in the arm. “I looked up to her for a long time.”
CHAPTER 08: SHANA
There was so much for us to talk about, but for one night, all I wanted was the peace we’d once had in each other’s arms. I decided to let our past go for now, getting up to straddle Charlie's lap. I pressed my head against hers and wrapped my arms around her neck. She was once my safe space, and as I got older, my priorities around safety shifted. We fell apart, and we were both to blame. But sometimes relationships needed adversity in order to grow, much like the changing of the seasons.
Her fingers swept over my back softly. Goosebumps mapped patterns across my skin as I dipped my head to brush my lips against hers. We took our time learning each other again, though it wasn’t so much a relearning as it was a fusion back into place, full of everything neither of us were ready to say. The apology I couldn’t yet vocalize was spoken through my lips against hers, and through the sighs and whimpers we released into the room.
Charlie’s hands cupped my ass, and I ground down on her, our kisses and grunts forcing me to remain present in the moment here with her. I gripped the couch behind her as I maneuvered her leg atop mine, making it easier to grind my growing erection against her clit. She threw her head back, moaning, and it shocked me out of what we were doing. I was okay with waiting for the conversations about our pasts, but I wasn’t ready to take this further.
I disentangled our legs, breathing hard. “I’m sorry, Charlie. I started that, but I’m not ready yet.”
She hugged me close for a moment, breathing me in as she set herself back to baseline. “Thank you for telling me. I’m okay with that,” she paused, “besides, there’s no way to tell whether or not our resident ghost has been watching us.”
I laughed, playfully moving the sheet to search the room for the ghost. Only when I did, I actually saw something out of the corner of my eyemove back behind the staircase. Bolting up, I scared my new friend Beau into action, who ran faster than I could around the corner. Out of breath, I looked everywhere, but no one was there.
