I laughed a little at his desire to defend my honor even though we barely knew each other. “It’s ok,” I said quickly, “I’m long over him. I just got left with a little more insecurity than I already had. But I’ve been dealing with comments most of my life, especially in school. I was eight. I was with my aunt. I dropped my tablet on the floor of the car and asked her if I could take my seatbelt off to get it. Just for a second. She said yes.”
I paused for a second while he traced my scars with his finger. There was something in his eyes that I didn’t quite understand. He looked like he was about to say something, but he didn’t. I went on. “In those coupleof seconds while I tried to grab it, some dude on his phone ran a red light and t-boned her car so hard it flipped a couple of times. I went through the windshield. The car was still moving when I got thrown out, so I ended up in a ditch yards away from where it stopped. I was barely conscious, and I couldn’t talk even though in my head I was screaming for help. My aunt was hurt pretty bad, and she was stuck in her car. When paramedics got there, she tried to tell them she’d had her nephew in the car with her, but they didn’t understand her because she was hurt and panicking.”
“Holy shit,” he said, but in a way that made me stop talking. He continued my story for me. “It was a rookie firefighter who finally realized she was trying to let everyone know she’d had a child in the car. He started looking around while they were working on getting her out of the car, desperately looking for the child no one else realized was missing. He finally found him in a ditch, probably fifteen yards from where the car stopped.”
I looked into his eyes again and suddenly thought about how comforting and familiar they’d been the whole time, even though I hadn’t understood why. “Oh. Oh, whoa.”
He went on. “What most people don’t know is that the rookie was getting ready to quit. There was a fire the night before, and he wasn’t able to save the elderly man that lived there. He felt like an utter failure and was certain he wasn’t cut out for the job. When he found a kid in a ditch, though, bleeding and barely conscious, obviously in shock, all thoughts of the previous night were moved aside. He pulled the kid out because there was water in the ditch and yelled for a stretcher. He applied pressure to the wounds on the boy’s face and shoulder, while reassuring him that everything was going to be ok. The boy’s eyes finally cleared and he looked up with trust so deep, it made the rookie question everything. They got him on the stretcher right before they got the aunt out and got them to the hospital. When he found out they were both going to be ok, it made that rookie keep going, keep trying to save the people he could even though he understood then that he wouldn’t be able to save them all. It made him understand that the ones he could save still mattered more than his fears.”
“And he became chief,” I added quietly.
He smiled. “Yeah. Eventually.”
“You saved my life. If you hadn’t found me…”
“I just did my job.”
“No, you made everything ok. You pulled me out of the place I thought I was going to die. I couldn’t even call out for help. You made me feel like itwas going to be ok when I was more scared than I’d ever been. You stayed calm, and you stayed with me. I trusted you. You were always cut out for the job.”
He moved forward and kissed along the scar on my face. “I’m glad you’re ok. I’m sorry you’ve been dealing with shit people all your life. Those scars are part of you, though, and I think all of you is beautiful.”
I moved forward into his arms and he wrapped them around me. He still felt strong and safe, but in a different way. It still made me feel like everything might be ok, though, because he was there. I wanted to get to know him. The fact that we lived so close made me ecstatic. I may have found a reason to stick closer to home more often. It sounded like he truly wanted to see me again, like he hadn’t been after a one night stand. Like maybe he was the one I was supposed to find again all along. The one who saved me once, and might save me again in a different way.
Right before I fell asleep I thought of how funny it was that I was an electrician and he was a firefighter and we were making our own sparks. That was probably one of those corny, awkward thoughts I had, but he seemed to find all the things I was embarrassed about charming. Maybe I’d say it out loud in the morning. I fell asleep in his arms, happier than I could ever remember feeling.
CHAPTER 01: RUNE
Rune’s metal is better than your metal: The fact of the matter is, Dreadful is overhyped, lacks consistency, and with their new “guitarist” entering the fold whilst simultaneously selling out with Kingsport Records, I find it all to be a cash grab. You can’t change my mind. Dreadful is shit.
Headless Angels had more heart.
I hit send, grinning ear to ear, and watch the comment appear on my arch nemesis’s video.
If I had more time, I’d pop open a cold soda and wait for his reply.Behold Thy Hornshas been the bane of my existence since I started my music review YouTube channel two years ago. Sure, the guy has been in the scene longer, but he’s got trash taste. You have to know what you’re talking about to be taken seriously in this line of work—or hobby. For a while, I was scared to show my face on camera. In a perfect world, no one should care how you express yourself, but I’ve been at the front lines of prejudice before, so I hesitated for a while.
It wasn’t until I finally stopped giving a fuck, showing mystunningface in all its glory online, that people started to listen, and my channel exploded.
The viewers love me and agree with my exceptional tastes.
Everyone except this asshole.
Sliding away from my PC, I rise from my chair and fish my purse out of my laundry hamper. It’s always where it ends up, no matter how much I try. My life is chaos in the best way. Not that anyone ever sees it, that would require trusting another human in my space. I’m not keen on doing that for some rando off Grindr. Dodging an empty perfume bottle and miscellaneous shoes, I hurry to the bathroom to check that my makeup is still intact after my near meltdown over that fucking video.
We are at war,Behold Thy Hornsand I. He knows I post on Tuesdays and Thursdays, while he posts on any other day. It’s like…an unspoken agreement. However, because I have plans, he has taken advantage of my lack of posting. Now everyone will watch his garbage content instead of myperfect comeback video that I’m almost done editing. The fact that he posted his response video to last week’s internet brawltodayhas me nearly ready to cancel my plans.
But I won’t do that to Sadie.
When I saw the Instagram ad looking for queer folks to participate in stranger sessions, I almost kept scrolling. I have unrealistic expectations when it comes to dating and love—I know that I do. I want a partner who likes what I like while also being comfortable with how I look and possessing a cock. Long hair, big, strong arms,maybeeven some of those sexy camo pants all the guys in bands wear. I wantthat, but queer.
Dating apps only go so far, and seldom have a candidate who fits the bill. I settle just to ensure I don’t get cobwebs on my nether bits. I know appearances aren’t everything, so that’s why I bit the bullet and applied for this…photography session. Going in blind, meeting a stranger, and essentially being matched based on shared interests seemed…nice. Perfect actually.
I won’t have to rely on myterriblepicker and the monotony of swiping based on physical appearance. Doing this, I might have a real shot to meet someone I’m genuinely compatible with. The possibility has me rushing out of my little apartment. My online war will just have to wait until after the photoshoot.
The location where it’s all taking place isn’t too far from where I live, but I still drive faster than the speed limit. Initially, I thought about asking Sadie to do a beach shoot. After some consideration, though, I realized it was a bit cliché, and I really don’t enjoy sand. Plus, the closest beach to me is Redondo, and that place is a dump. So we settled for a park. I didn’t request any fancy getups or themes; I just asked that we keep it during the day. Sadie prefers to shoot duringthe golden hour.
After perusing her portfolio, I can see why. The lighting is stunning, but I have astigmatism and prefer to stay safely locked in my apartment at night. Driving into blinding light is a bad idea. It takes longer to get to the park than anticipated; traffic is always the worst in Southern California. And with our version of winter in full swing, people forget how to drive. Thankfully, it isn’t raining, just colder than usual.
I find a spot in the lot, tucked under a big tree, and hesitate. Excitement has given way to nerves and dread. This isn’t adateor anything, but these sessions are geared toward intimacy. What if my partner hates how I look or is freaked out? Sadie assured me that wouldn’t be the case and that there iszero possibility of hate in her sessions. With a shaky hand, I reapply my lip gloss and fluff my long teal curls. At least my eyeliner is pretty and makes the color pop.
