The same thing she’s been saying to me our whole lives. I never listen. She’s as much my business as anyone else in my family. While I’m glad she’s letting herself have something I know she’s desperate for—another night with Mac—I worrywhat tomorrow brings for both of them. Nothing’s changed since the last time they tried, so long ago.
I can’t change their paths. So, instead, I focus on the woman leaning back against me, rubbing my arms as they cage her in and warm her up.
“Any emails today?” I ask into the curtain of her hair.
“Yeah.” She sighs. “From both him and my mother. I can’t ignore it forever, I guess. But it can wait until I’m back to work and feeling more settled in life. You know?”
“When do you go back to work?”
“In a week,” she says. My heart stutters, and I snuggle in closer. “New York. I’ll sign my new contract, and Micah booked me a shoot. Assuming it doesn’t fall through, too.”
“I’m sure it won’t,” I say, though what the fuck do I know about it? “How long of a trip?”
“Four days, three nights. In and out, nice and quick,” she says.
“Then, back here?” I ask, attempting to keep the wishfulness out of my voice. And failing miserably.
“Of course,” she says.
My heart is like the Grinch’s, growing a size or two. She’s quiet for a few minutes, and I savor it—the comfortable familiarity of just being in each other’s space.
“Have you ever slept out here?”
“Sure, we did it often in the summers growing up.”
“I’ve never slept outside,” she says. “My mother would never go camping, or vacation, really. She’s a homebody. I rememberasking her once if I could sleep out in the backyard. Her answer was only if I wanted to be kidnapped.”
“Jesus.” Jules sighs beside us.
“Somedays, that seemed like a better option,” she says with a forced laugh.
“Do you want to sleep out here tonight? I’ll do it with you, if you want. It’s a clear night, you’ll have stars the whole time.”
“I’d love that, Grady.”
So would I. More than I’m comfortable admitting to, just yet.
Seventeen
Lou
“Only in the darkness can you see the stars.”
Martin Luther King Jr.
We slept under blankets of wool and stardust. The four of us, as once the idea was born, we all wanted a part in it. Grady and I under one blanket, Juliet and Mac under another. Everyone slept chastely, held by something bigger than rushed intimacy.
One star ran, shooting itself quickly across the sky until it was lost to us forever. Secretly, I named her Kindred. Secretly, I hoped to never have to be in those shoes again. Secretly, I dreamed of growing old in Stowaway, Oregon.
I loved every moment of discovering another missed childhood experience. Pierre never had much interest in such things. If I’d told him I wanted to sleep outside, he’d have suggested it was uncouth and uncivilized.
Apparently, hitting the woman he claimed to love was completely civilized. I never did understand his rules.
On the other hand, Grady isn’t only comfortable with my whims; he actively encourages them.
This morning, Juliet woke with a somber smile. Whether for me, Mac, or herself, I’m unsure. She stayed quiet and closed-lipped, keeping her thoughts to herself, until it came time for her to drive away.
“Keep me updated every step of the way,” she’d said before leaving. “If you need anything, Luke and I have your back. Though, something tells me you’ll have coverage here, too.”
