“I like my quiet, is all,” he says, sounding disgruntled, but he sends me a quick wink. “After the sandcastles, it’s kites, then, it’s the oyster festival, then, the Renaissance Fair. Though, that one is at least a bit further out of town.”
“Oooh,” I coo with excitement. “A Renn Fair?”
“It’s so fun, Lulu,” Paige says, squirming in her seat. “We can go together. This year, I’m dressing up as Robin Hood.”
“I’ll put the dates in my calendar right now,” I say, digging my phone out of my pocket. “So that I’m sure not to book any work for that time.”
There’s an unread text.
Vivian:
It’s done. I’ll handle everything. You let me know if anything comes your way.
Me:
Thank you, Vivian. Truly.
I tremble as I type back the message. Everything changes, now. My voice will no longer be silenced. I’ll be loud. Proud. Not of how I ended up in the situation, but of how I got out. Proud of how I’ll be controlling the narrative of my own life, now. Not him. Not that sad, weak man that I gave so much of myself to.
Proud that I’m taking my power back.
Or finding it. Finally.
My life is mine. How dare a man try to dictate how I am to feel for the rest of my days? I won’t let him, or anyone, bring me so low again. Not ever. No matter what this brings, I’ll find joy every day. If for no other reason than to spite him.
“See, I told you she’s even prettier when she smiles,” Paige whispers to Maggie.
I look up to see she’s looking at me. She’s talking about me.
It will be easy to find joy here. With Grady, with Paige, with Sam and Ruthie. Within this town that built walls around me in my darkest moment and only let the sun shine in.
Here, I’ll find that happily ever after that felt so elusive all my life.
“You missed it,” Grady says much later, after everyone has either left or gone to sleep. We’ve found our way to what is now my favorite place in the world, the sandy ground behind Irma’s house. Wrapped in a wool blanket, I’m curled up in his lap.
“Work? Yeah, I did miss it,” I answer. “I love the artistry of some of the shoots. Besides, I’ve never been great at being idle for too long of a stretch.”
Pierre would never have let me, even if I’d wanted to. Keeping me busy gave me more status, which gave him more in return. It also meant he could do what he liked while I was away. Not that he ever let my presence stop him from doing anything,but at least when I was gone, he didn’t have to deal with my “tantrums” afterward.
Of course, a simple frown was a tantrum to him. Because it gave him a reason to punish me. Once, he claimed I was pouting. If I had been, I hadn’t realized it. Regardless, Pierre found it as an affront and dragged me to the bathroom to wash my mouth out with soap, as if I was an unruly child. It wasn’t the first time, or the last. The soap was one of the easier punishments to endure.
Punishment was control. The longer I’m away from it, the more I see it for what it was. It’s clear as day, now that my blindfold is off.
“I can see that about you,” Grady says. “Everything went well, then?”
“It did. The photographer was a woman I’ve worked with before. She takes beautiful photos. I’m excited to see how they turn out,” I say. “Meeting with everyone about how to move forward was tiring, but it also feels like I’m out of stasis, you know? It was hard to move on from it because I hadn’t made any moves of my own. I was still letting things happen for me or without me. Now, my attorney is moving ahead with a civil suit, all my emails from Pierre will be forwarded to their office. And I blocked my mother’s emails.”
“Damn, Lou, that’s some heavy shit. I know I told you the other night, but I’m proud of you. None of it is easy but you’re taking it head-on,” he tells me, tightening his arms around me and placing his head on my shoulder. “You deserve the world. Take it by the reins.”
“I’m finding my grip,” I assure him. “Will you keep working with me? I want to be physically stronger, too.”
“Of course. I’d like nothing more than for you to be a fire spitting dragon that bites off bad men’s heads.”
“What?” I laugh and turn my face to his.
He takes the opportunity to kiss me. Long and slow.
“It’s something Paige said. She doesn’t have princess dreams, she has dragon dreams.”
