It was better this way, without any dramatic goodbyes or promises we both knew we couldn’t keep. Even so, it felt like he’d attached one end of a cable to his bike and the other to my heart, tearing it apart more and more with every inch he put between us, but I still didn’t move.
For one crazy minute last night, I’d thought that maybe if he couldn’t stay, I could leave. I’d thought that perhaps I could go back to Chicago with him and we could approach his family together. Theo had said they weren’t bad people, so I’d thought that maybe we could go plead our case.
We loved each other, and surely, they wouldn’t force us to stay apart just because I wasn’t rich. That would be ludicrous and nothing I’d heard of them suggested they were quite that medieval, but the idea hadn’t even fully formed before I’d realized it couldn’t happen.
Theo couldn’t turn his back on his family, but neither could I, and his life was there while mine was here. If their rules really were so iron clad, that meant he would know if there was some loophole he could use to stay, and since he hadn’t mentioned any other options, I had to assume his family wouldn’t be able to help us even if they wanted to.
So I sagged back against my pillows, unable to watch any longer as the sound of his engine eventually faded to a distant hum and then disappeared altogether.
As soon as the silence it left in its wake washed over me, the tears I’d been trying to hold back slid free and I sobbed into the pillow, burrowing into those on his side of the bed and just riding out one wave of devastation after the next.
I wasn’t sure how long it took until the initial shock of him actually being gone subsided, but when I finally rolled onto my side, I noticed a piece of paper sitting on the bedside table. I lunged for it, thinking it was a note, but nope.
It was a check. For an eye-watering amount of money. “Why the hell did he leave me a hundred thousand dollars?”
I whispered the question into the quiet room, blinking hard past the tears still sitting in my eyes just in case I’d made a mistake, but nope. No matter how many times I blinked, the numbers remained the same. No period appeared between the zeroes and none of the zeroes themselves disappeared.
Pushing myself up slowly, I sat there and stared at it, unable to believe that he’d do this, but on the memo line, he’d written simply,For your dream house.
A wet, shaky laugh escaped me. Then I was crying again.Oh, Theo, you’re an idiot. An absolute fucking idiot, but I love you. I love you so much that it hurts.
Despite the fact that it had only been a few minutes, I already missed him so much that every breath felt like I’d swallowed a whole handful of razor blades, and I also already knew that I would never find another man like him.
Theo Westwood was one in a million. For all his money, all his family’s expectations, and all the impossible complications that came with loving him, he was the first man who’d listened to me like I’d mattered. He’d looked at me and had seen not only the mechanic, but the girl who loved old houses and who’dbought an Airstream with dreams of an adventure she wanted, but wouldn’t go on.
He’d seen every part of me, from the grease stains to the pink paint, and instead of judging, he’d loved me for it. Fresh tears slipped down my cheeks as I clutched the check, wondering how I was ever supposed to get over this.
From a philosophical point of view, I understood that not all people who entered our lives were meant to stay. Some were sent to shake things up and then they had to leave. I got that, but Theo had blown into town on his broken bike and he’d changed my life.
Now he was gone and I was alone again, left to figure out what came next for a future he would never be a part of. I knew that somehow I had to find a way to be okay with that, but I just wasn’t.
Not yet, anyway, but maybe one day, many years from now, I would be.
CHAPTER 33
THEO
The gates of Westwood Manor opened automatically after I’d keyed in the code. I rode up the long drive with Martha’s engine rumbling underneath me and the strange sensation that I’d traveled back in time, just dropping back into my old life on a dime.
It was hard to believe it’d been months since I’d last been here when it suddenly felt like I’d left just yesterday. In reality, though, I’d been on the road for three days and four nights, wanting to get back as soon as possible after leaving Quartz Pass.
If I hadn’t put as much distance as possible between myself and that place as fast as I could, I knew I’d have turned right around and gone back. Westwood Manor appeared through the trees as I kept winding my way up the drive, as impressive and familiar as always, but somehow not feeling quite like home anymore.
I parked near the garage and killed the engine, the sudden silence ringing in my ears after pushing so hard to get back. Honestly, I was exhausted and heartbroken, but the front door burst open before I’d even climbed off the bike and Jennifer and Lu came flying out.
“Uncle Theo!” Jennifer yelled loud enough to wake the neighbors.
“You’re home!” Lu screeched in her wake.
Before I could even take my helmet off, my nieces launched themselves across the lawn like tiny missiles, practically tackling me off the motorcycle. I laughed and caught them both, hugging them as they yelled over each other.
“We missed you!” Jennifer squealed.
“Did you bring presents?” Lu followed moments later. “I heard you were in Arizona. That’s the desert, right?”
“Did you see a rattlesnake?” Jennifer asked excitedly, lifting her bright blue eyes to mine. “You didn’t die, did you?”
“No.” I ruffled her hair and finally straightened as I let them go. “I’m right here. Very much alive.”
