My voice feels raw, but I hold her in place. Making a decision. Still unsure how to explain at least some of what holds me back. “I told you I can’t give you…”
“You can’t give meyou?” her voice cracks. I grit my teeth in response, still looking over her shoulder. “Please look at me,” she begs.
Reluctantly, I drag my eyes over and meet hers. And I infuse every word with the weight of all my misgivings. “I want you more than anything. More than anything on this earth. But I told you, I’m not safe to be around. The people who would come after you, if they found out who you are to me—”
She cuts me off, “Isn’t it lucky, then, that you ended up packed with men like Grayson, Orion, and Silas? Do you think they would let anything happen to me?”
I let out a low growl. “People are after me. Always. That’s why they call me The Ghost, that’s why people don’t know who I really am. If I stayed with you, they would find out, and they could come after you, hurt you to get to me. Because of what I’ve done, or because of what I am. Either way. I’m not safe for you.”
“It’s a good thing I have Grayson, Orion, and Silas with me, then. With us.”
I wish I could believe it. Trust it. Of course they would protect her, butcanthey?
She tries again, “Just give us a chance. Is this what you see for your life ten years down the road? A hundred? Two hundred? Knowing your mate, your pack is out there, but choosing to live away from us, in the shadows? Working for Kendrick, living a half-life?”
It’s the final crack that shatters the wall surrounding me.
I don’t have to guess how I might feel in ten years. It’s unfathomable. My voice is full of raw honesty when I admit, “I can’t imagine going that long without you.”
“Then why go a single day?”
The challenge lands like a bomb between us. I squeeze her hips tighter. I feel like a coiled snake ready to spring.
Or a falcon ready to strike.
I stare into her eyes, my fingers digging into the backs of her thighs, drawing her closer. She takes it as an invitation and shifts forward, raising her hips slightly, and the pressure against me sends electricity through my body.
Her lips meet mine and my entire body trembles. My first kiss. The softness catches me off guard—warm, wet, tender. My head swims, each sensation magnified beyond reason. Something all-consuming rises in me, threatening to sweep away all my careful restraint. The fear of that surrender makes me pull back suddenly.
“Wait. I have to tell you something.”
Her omega whines, and it makes me chuckle. “What’s wrong? What is it?”
My breath against her mouth, I know the truth has to come out. “I’ve never… I’ve never done this before.”
She stills against me, eyes widening slightly. “Wait, you mean you’ve never...?” I shake my head, feeling heat rise to my ears with embarrassment. “How is that possible?”
“I’ve never made time for women. I’ve never been with anyone.”
Mona’s eyes darken, a growl rumbling through her chest and into mine where our bodies press together. Her omega possessiveness is new to me. I’m used to watching on with envy while she holds her other mates in the same regard. The sound ignites me, burning away another thread of my restraint. My lips brush against hers as I whisper what feels less like a confession and more like an insecurity. “I’m not like your other mates. I don’t—I don’t really know what I’m doing, and I might disappoint you. I’m sorry.”
“Did you know that a shifter can only knot for their mate?” she asks.
“Of course.”
“Did you read that in a book?” she teases.
I give her an eye roll. “It’s common knowledge.”
“Right. My point is Grayson, Orion, Silas, they didn’t know what they were doing either. I’m their first and only mate. We figured it out together.”
My chest expands with my breath. And then it’s like a dam breaks. I’ve run through every single excuse, given her every worry, and I’ve got nothing left standing between us. My lips crash to hers and I kiss her passionately, almost violently. My teeth scrape against her lips, devouring her honey taste. I trace her curves, softly at first to memorize the feel of her, before squeezing possessively, finally,finallyknowing she is mine.
Mona tears her top off while my fingers struggle to pull down her pants, but we manage to get her naked before I’m climbing on top of her, unable to wait a second longer.
I kiss her neck, her collarbone. “I should give you flowers,” I whisper against her skin. “I should make you dinner and hold your hand under the stars. I should court you properly, like I’ve wanted to since the day we met.” My voice catches as I remember all those nights watching her from afar, laughing with her other mates, aching to be the one beside her. I glance downat the hard floor beneath us, then back to her flushed face. “I should give you a soft bed, not a filthy floor—but Christ, Mona, I can’t hold back another second.”
Mona’s gasp fills the room as I spread her naked thighs. I search her eyes one last time—she answers with a smile that’s both permission and plea—and, with a determined grip on my cock, I guide myself inside her.
