“I used to be lazy. And boring.”
I raise one eyebrow, and she gasps in mock offense, then laughs and reaches out to slap me. “Don’t look at me like that! Not wanting to lift tires or run suicide sprints does not make me lazy. What I mean is… I was always tired. Sick. I never wanted to do anything. In my heart, I wanted to, but I just didn’t have the energy. And so, I lived a boring life. I ate takeout, I watched TV. I slept on the couch half the time because I was too lazy to go to bed. Lazy, mind you, not that I didn’t have the physical strength to go from one room to the other. Mostly.”
“That was something that was done to you, Mona.”
“True. But that was also just who I was. It was the life I lived for over twenty years. And if all of this craziness that’s happened to me—having Beep, you guys, my omega—if all of it dropped in the old me’s lap without warning, I might have said no thanks. Not because I was physically incapable of dealing with it all, but because I just wouldn’t have known where to begin.”
“What’s your point?” I ask, not really understanding where she’s going with all this.
“My point is… I spent months on the road, alone, with Beep, figuring all this out. We went through a lot together, and my life slowly morphed into something new. I had to learn how to live like this. I changed, fundamentally.”
Ah. Now I see. “And Silas’s experiences over the last five years have morphed him into something else, too?”
“Yes. I know it’s not a good example, it’s just… people can change. Maybe I’m still lazy,” she laughs. “And I’d love to just sit on my ass and watch some TV one of these nights. But I’m different now. My life experiences have changed me. And it took time.”
We drive in silence for another minute, then I pull up next to the hospital and park.
“Why is she still here, anyway?” Mona asks. “Lily, I mean. Even I healed within a couple of days after the Andrea and Stance stuff happened.”
That reminder isn’t something I need right now. My alpha snarls, but I temper his annoyance. “The physical damage done to her was different… she was tortured for months.”
Mona sucks in a sharp breath. She looks toward the hospital entrance. I reach out and pull her closer. The steering wheel is in the way, I can’t pull her into my lap, but I get her close enough.
“She’s healing. She’ll be okay. I’ve seen her myself. You don’t need to worry.”
Mona shakes her head. “I saw her, Grayson. I saw her, and I did nothing.”
“Don’t you dare say that. You told me.Idid nothing. You told me, and I dismissed it as just a dream. Something your subconscious manifested because of what Silas did to you. I’m the one at fault here.”
She doesn’t believe me. In her scent, I can tell. Her omega has this way of soothing everyone around her, but she has a harder time turning that kindness onto herself. I run my fingers through her hair, getting caught in the messy strands. My fingertips scratching her scalp make her cuddle closer, and the purr that rumbles from my chest anchors her to me.
“In truth, we didn’t know where Lily was. It was luck that you saw them, and that Kendrick’s Ghost went to one of Deidre’s compounds and scented two wolves on the property. That those wolves were Lily and Silas was also luck. None of what happened is your fault, and you couldn’t have stopped any of it. All the blame is on me. And Kendrick. And every alpha in this country who knew their shifters were being kidnapped and didn’t coordinate, didn’t do enough to figure out what was happening.”
“It’s not your fault either, Grayson.”
I wasn’t using hyperbole. It is my fault. And I’ll have to carry the burden of what happened to my brother and to Lily, and to all the others, for the rest of my existence.
And Mona is right. I need to give my brother more grace. Because even if he does still push my buttons—that’s a part of his personality that will never change—even I can see that he is different. What was done to him was a fucking tragedy. But it changed him. He’s not the same man he once was.
Kendrick steps outside. His eyes flick to mine briefly, then stay on Mona, who is still cuddling my chest, rubbing her cheek against the vibration of my purr.
The look on Kendrick’s face is what gets me moving. He’s either two seconds from storming into this truck and telling her everything, or about to run off in the opposite direction.
I open the door and maneuver Mona out of the truck, setting her on her feet.
“Oh. Hi,” Mona waves awkwardly at Kendrick.
His expression doesn’t change. His eyes don’t leave her face. But to me, he says, “I thought we were meeting.”
“That’s why I’m here.”
His eyes narrow. If he didn’t have his alpha tucked away, it’s possible I’d bare my neck. As it is, the look he gives me tells me how pissed he is that I brought Mona. Well, he’s just going to have to get over it.
“Mona wanted to tag along,” I lie. Not because I’m unwilling to incur his wrath, but to remind him Mona, his daughter, is real, and she’s here, and maybe he should be more open to getting to know her, regardless of the circumstances.
Kendrick dips his chin, then turns and walks toward a picnic table sitting on the side of the building. Holding Mona’s hand, we follow.
OceanofPDF.com
