My vision blurs at the edges, consciousness sliding back into my body, but I linger just long enough to stare at my three mates one last time. Tears welling up, I memorize them, heart tight with fear that this moment—the four of us, together—might be one of our last.
When I land back in my body, I bite down so hard, tasting blood on my tongue, barely swallowing the scream threatening to wake my sleeping mates.
My eyes drift from where my head rests on Orion’s chest, past Silas’s sleeping form, to the darkened window. Dawn is hours away. I listen to the rhythm of their breathing, and I inhale their scents—chocolate and hazelnut, cinnamon and campfire, fresh, earthy rain and citrus—and I focus on muting our bond.
Beep says nothing. Her despondency is louder than mine. But she knows what we must do. Because I am an omega. And Icannot allow another shifter to suffer when we can do something about it.
Brick by brick, I spend the following hours practicing how to shield our bonds. How to lie to a group of alphas who know and love me, who trust me, who, by morning, cannot know what thrums deep inside my chest: pure, unmitigated fear. And, that I’m leaving them.
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Chapter 31: Mona
It’s not an easy thing, hiding your terror. I trace the tattoo on Silas’s shoulder with my fingertips, committing to memory the dark designs and scars, the thick curves of his muscles before he yanks on his t-shirt.
“You sure you’re okay?” Grayson asks against my forehead, his lips warm, as he leans down to kiss me goodbye for the day.
For longer, but he doesn’t know that.
Sleep never came. I laid awake all night, staring at them, trying to soak up every single moment, every one of their breaths. An hour ago, Grayson rumbled awake and rolled on top of me with his thick cock pressing between my legs. I lost myself in our rhythm as he fucked me, channeling every ounce of happiness I could muster—all my joy at having found them, and of Silas being home at last—I let that fuel the bond, masking everything else I was hiding. After he came, I climbed on top of Orion, turning frenetic with my need for him. He enjoyed my desperation at first until he sensed the anxiety driving me. But I didn’t give him time to ask questions, turning to Silas, movingwith deliberate slowness, trying to draw out and savor every moment.
But they still knew something was off.
“Just another vision last night,” I tell him sadly. Not a lie.
“Alright, love. I think it’s high time Ghost pulls his fucking weight around here and helps you stave the visions, at least a little. You can’t keep going on like this.”
I hum in agreement. His eyes narrow, and he continues, “We’ll be back in a few hours. Need to check in with Kendrick and the enforcers.”
Grayson leaves, and Orion bends to kiss me goodbye before following him out. I try not to say goodbye like I might never see them again.
Silas lingers after the others, like he always does. He’ll be the first one back tonight, too—walking through that door to find me gone. The thought makes my stomach clench. He tilts my face up with gentle fingers, his dark brows drawing together as he studies me. “Seriously, Mona, what’s wrong?”
My mask is slipping. I shake my head. “The visions are just getting to be a lot. It’s really hard to get any sleep, you know?” I try to shrug it off, as if that’s what’s important here—my beauty sleep.
He still doesn’t look like he believes me, but eventually, he leaves.
And then I’m alone.
And I have to act like it doesn’t tear me apart that Ghost isn’t even here for me to see one last time. My chest feels hollowed out, scraped raw, and I haven’t even left our cabin yet. But I’ll endure, because the thought of what’s happening to those wolves, what Deidre threatened to do—it’s a price worth paying.
I wait until I hear the guys leave, followed by Andrea’s arrival for the day, then quietly, quickly, work about my room.
“Alright, I think that’s everything,” I say to Beep as I stuff the backpack full of clothes and toiletries, and anything else I might need. Downstairs, Andrea moves around the kitchen—I can hear the clink of dishes and her heavy booted steps.
My hands shake as I zip the backpack shut. My stomach knots, the room sways enough that I have to press my palm against the wall to steady myself. Then I swing the bag over my shoulder, and glance at my bedroom door.
I have no choice. Just keep moving forward. Put one foot in front of the other. I can get through this.
Trying to focus on something else, I tell Beep, “If you lose my backpack this time, I will find a way to kill you, feel me?”
There’s no snark back, despite the grim joke. She says somberly,I will hold onto your things.
I have until nightfall—that’s what Deidre said. But if I linger all day, I’ll lose my nerve. So, I’m leaving as soon as I can shake off Andrea. For that, I have a plan.
I force myself down the stairs, pausing at the bottom to scan the hallway. Andrea’s still in the kitchen, eating at the breakfast table. Quick and light on my feet, I ease the front door open and slip outside, dropping my backpack into the truck bed. I’m back inside seconds later.
Joining Andrea in the kitchen, she pauses with her fork halfway to her mouth, eyes narrowing. “Where’d you go?”