The bag rustles, competing with the thundering sound of my heartbeat pulsing between my ears. This is it. I’m really doing this. I’m leaving. I’m so caught up in the moment that Andrea’s footsteps don’t register until her shadow falls across me.
My head snaps up. Andrea looms over me, arms crossed, her frame backlit by the sun, so I have to squint through the glare to make out her irritated expression.
“So, you going to tell me why you’ve been acting shady all day and lying through your teeth, or am I just going to have to guess?”
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Chapter 32: Mona
My words trip over themselves as I try to explain. “I’m not—I was just—” Wow, I am really bad at coming up with stuff on the spot. Beep lets out an exasperated sigh.
“Checking the flower boxes?” Andrea asks, raising one eyebrow.
I scramble to my feet and pull open the passenger door of the truck. “Gas?” I chirp.
Andrea’s face goes still. So, I’m surprised when she starts the truck and continues along with my ruse.
We make it about a quarter mile before she yanks the wheel to the right, pulling onto the shoulder. She turns to face me. “What’s really going on here?”
“Andrea, I—”
She cuts me off. “Don’t lie to me. Just don’t. You’re obviously planning something. You’re about as subtle as a walrus. I am your guard, and I am responsible for you—”
“This isn’t about you!” My voice cracks harshly. I stare at my hands, twisting them in my lap. “I’m sorry. I’m—look, nothing’s happening. Can we please get gas and go back to the cabin? Please?”
“You think because you’re not telling an outright lie that I still can’t sense it.Go back to the cabin.Not with you, though, right? Where will you be?”
“Andrea—”
“No! You know something. You fucking know something, and you’re lying to me, and you’re going to get yourself killed, and then I’ll lose you, and I’ve already lost her, and I can’t—” Andrea’s heart beats loudly, breathing frantic. The dark hole inside her, the one missing pieces of herself, pulses, like it’s growing an inch at a time.
“You’re being paranoid.”
“Do not patronize me,” she hisses.
I laugh, a cold sound that surprises even me. “Oh, you don’t like being patronized?You?That’s rich, coming from the fucking queen of sarcastic condescension. You have been an asshole to me since the day we met. Don’t pretend like you know me. We’re not friends, Andrea. We will never be friends. You’re just a pathetic parasite who bullied your way into my mate’s good graces by feeding his paranoia. You’re only here because you’re a perfect little soldier. How does that feel, huh? Being someone’s literal fucking lapdog?”
Bile rises in my throat as the poison leaves my lips. Each syllable tastes like shit, but I need her angry—need her to stop looking at me with those eyes that seem to pierce straight through me, right to the truth I’m trying to hide.
I can feel her hurt before I even see it. It all feels wrong. Wretched, and my omega yearns to reach out and hold her. Andrea’s apple mint scent turns acrid. The moment I catch the look on her face, her brows drawn, lips parted—trembling, even—I wrench my gaze to the window, hating myself with every second that passes.
The pain I’m causing—about to cause—slices through me like a thousand tiny blades. My mates will be devastated when they discover I’m gone. Silas will think I abandoned him. They all will. And Andrea—she has to hate me. It’s the only way. My throat constricts as I squeeze my eyes shut, clinging to my only comfort: it’s for her own good.
Even as I think those words, I’m struck by the bitter irony. It’s what Grayson says when he thinks he knows best. And yes, sometimes he’s right—but other times, I’ve wanted to grab him by his perfect face and force him to actually listen to someone else for once in his goddamn life.
I can do this. I can be mean to her and save her from getting killed. I can be cruel.
Fuck, this hurts.
“Andrea,” I try again, readying the words to nail the coffin shut. To play on all her insecurities.
But when I turn to face her, the words die in my throat. She’s got that look on her face. The same one when Gray and I showed up back in town and I found her locked in the cell. It’s the face of someone who’s already ten steps ahead, who’s just waiting for you to catch up. A flicker of annoyance crosses her features before the corner of her mouth twitches upward, infuriatingly.
“Now Iknowsomething is wrong.”
“Wait, what? Huh?”
She rolls her eyes. “Mona, you can’t even insult me correctly. Yes, Iamaperfect little fucking soldier. Paranoid, too. Good thing, since my instincts are screaming right now. You’re not just hiding something, it’s more than that. We’re not leaving until you tell me.”
