Her expression tightens. “Oh. Okay. What was it?”
“It was about the king, and what really happened to him.” I run a rough hand through my hair, unsure of how to proceed. “Itdoesn’t matter now that they’re gone, but will you tell me what happened? The real story?”
She purses her lips. “There’s not much to tell.”
I scoff. “How can that be? The king was murdered. You seem to know how it happened. Why won’t you tell me?”
“Why are you asking me to relive this? Like you said, it no longer matters, so why are we talking about it?”
I shake my head, frustrated that she’s still being elusive about this, when all I require is a simple answer. “I don’t know much about your time there or the king himself. You said he was abusive and divisive. That his own people were starting to defy his orders. Then you skipped over what happened and said you and his wives escaped separately.”
“Yeah, and? What, you want to know if I killed him?”
“Yes, that’s what I’m asking.”
She crosses her arms over her chest. “Okay, my answer is no. I didn’t kill him. Happy?”
I suppose I should be. I wanted a straightforward answer, and she gave me one. But is it the truth? Why does it feel like there’s so much more she’s unwilling to share? “I suppose,” I eventually say.
This makes everything worse.
“You think I’m lying, don’t you?”
“I didn’t say that.”
Her eyes are like daggers when they meet mine. “You could ask me the question again and look inside my head if you really want the truth. So do it. Ask me again.”
I shake my head, refusing. “I’m not doing that.”
“Why not?” She prods. “You want the truth so badly. Just ask. You want a front-row seat to the most terrifying night of my life? Go ahead. Reach in and take it from me.”
She continues this goading until my reserve snaps in half. “I won’t! You asked me not to, and I swore to you that I wouldn’t.”I rub my temples, wondering how we went from the happiest moment of my life to this so quickly. “Besides, I shouldn’t have to look inside your head for the truth. You should trust me enough to tell me.”
“I did tell you, and it wasn’t good enough.”
“You’re leaving something out, June. I can feel it.”
“You’ve trusted me this whole time and now, suddenly you don’t anymore? Because that orange asshole broadcasted his psychotic fantasy about me killing the king?” She throws up her hands, looking defeated and exhausted by my very presence. “How am I supposed to live with someone who treats me this way?”
What does that mean? Is she ending this with me? Sorrow twines around my insides, pulling until a wave of nausea hits. What if she leaves me? Leaves us? Akkal and I would be lost. I swallow the bile climbing up my throat. It’ll feel exactly like my family banishing me. The only difference this time is I won’t need to uproot my life and settle somewhere else. Everything will remain the same, except for the deep crater where my heart once was.
The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. “How am I supposed to protect my son when we’re living under the same roof as a potential killer?”
She jerks back as if I slapped her, her mouth falling open in shock. “You th-think…” she trails off, her voice cracking. “You think I’d hurt him?” She points to Akkal’s room as tears spill down her cheeks. “Or you?” Then I watch as her expression slowly morphs into disgust, then settles into anguish. The kind of anguish that leaves scars on one’s soul.
“Listen, I––” I begin, reaching out toward her. I don’t know what to say to make this better. I lashed out at the thought of being left. Again. It was wrong, and I ficqing hate myself for doing it.
“No.” She holds up a hand, stopping me. She sniffles, eyes rimmed red and cheeks splotchy. “You’re right. You need to protect Akkal, and since I’m an evil, murderous shyster, I should find another place to stay.”
“June, I didn––”
“It’s fine, Ziv,” she interrupts. “I just need some space.”
She’s out the door before I can utter another word.
Chapter 16
JUNE
