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“You don’t need to call me every two hours, you know,” I said.
“Have you stopped thinking about it for even a minute?”
“Of course not…would you stop thinking about it, if you found out you had a twin? And then found out she was dead a minute later?”
“I can’t fucking imagine, Al. I can’t. I am so sorry.”
We were both silent for a bit and then I said. “I need to get out of the house. Let’s go out to dinner tonight.”
“Are you serious, Al? That would be fantastic! You really need to get your mind off of things. It’s a date.”
“Love you,” I said.
“Love you too.”
Just as I hung up the phone, it rang again and I picked up.
“Sonia…come on…this is ridiculous.”
There was a pause.
“Allison?”
My stomach turned as I realized who it was. I didn’t respond.
“Allison? Are you there?”
“Yes,” I whispered as my heart beat rapidly.
“I’ve been so worried about you.”
“Why are you calling, Cedric?”
“I wanted to give you some space, but I couldn’t wait any longer. I need to hear your voice…to know you’re okay.”
“I’m okay, but I am not ready to talk to you.”
Cedric let out a deep breath into the phone. “Fair enough. I just needed to hear your voice, really. I still care about you, so much Allison. So much. Please don’t hate me. Please—”
I quietly hung up the phone because I was afraid of what I might say next. Tears streamed down my face. He thinks I hate him.
That was the problem. I didn’t hate him. My feelings for him were still strong and I hated myself for feeling this way.
***
A couple of more days passed and the funk I was in was slowly lifting.
It was seventy degrees outside and I decided to wear a delicate pink cotton sundress and take a walk.
Putting on some silver flip flop wedges and grabbing my purse, I headed out the door and breathed in the fresh mild air as a chorus of birds chirped. Days like these, I swear I could smell the scent of the sun.
I stopped at a corner store and bought something I hadn’t consumed in years…a Slush Puppy frozen drink. Sipping it fast through the tiny thin straw, I got brain freeze as I continued walking down the side streets of my neighborhood.
Two little girls holding hands skipping down the street passed me and I immediately thought of the sister I never knew. Would we have been close like that? Would she still be alive if we weren’t separated? Probably. What kind of mother separates identical twins?
My mood was darkening a bit and I decided to walk back to my apartment. As I approached my house, I dropped my drink on the sidewalk, startled to see Cedric sitting on the stairs waiting for me.
I froze as I saw him notice me and stopped about six feet short of him. His beautiful crystal blue eyes shined in the sunlight and looked like they were glowing. It pained me that he looked so goddamn handsome.
