“Evan mentioned that you asked if you could stay at his place for a few days, which you did. And recently, you filed a change of address with the organization.”
Right. I found a furnished apartment not far from the stadium. It definitely didn’t have quite the level of perks that my place with Silas had, but it was fine. The bland walls and well-used furniture were fine. Everything was fine.
Cold. Empty.
There was no Silas.
“Did something happen?”
I hated that I was being forced to do the very thing I was trying to avoid. I didn’t want to think about Silas or all the things I had to sacrifice in order to play this game. I was winning. Wasn’t that enough for them?
Right now, it was as if they were pouring salt into my open wounds.
I bristled. This was none of their damn business, and they had no right to ask about my personal life. “I’ve played just fine, Coach. This isn’t affecting the team.”
Coach folded his fingers together. His head tilted as he blinked at me, like he was some sort of armchair psychologist. “It’s not about your playing. You have played wonderfully for me. I can’t complain about that.”
“I haven’t been mean to anyone.”
“No, of course not. You haven’t exactly been friendly with anyone either, but that’s not a requirement, son. We just want to make sure you’re okay. If something’s going on, sometimes it does help to talk.”
I sighed. I couldn’t keep holding it all in. I knew that wasn’t healthy. The alternative was to spill all of my deepest secrets to my coach. I should trust him. I did trust him. But had I really even been honest with myself about this whole situation?
“I recently ended a relationship,” I said.
Both coaches exchanged a glance. Mario’s eyes shot up. “We didn’t realize you were seeing anyone.”
I shifted my weight. I avoided looking at their faces, instead focusing on the calendar posted on the wall. The upcominggame mocked me. The game where Silas’s new crew would be officiating.
“We were together a while,” I said. “I had to choose between him and my career. I chose my career.”
Coach nodded. “I see. Well, I’m sorry to hear that. Anyone who makes you choose between them and your dream isn’t the righ—”
“He didn’t make me choose,” I said. I nearly shouted the words. “It wasn’t—” I clenched my jaw. I couldn’t give away too much. It would be too obvious. “Si—” Dammit. This was harder than it should be.
Finally, I swallowed around the emotion that was choking me.
“He didn’t make me choose. We are just in an impossible position, and we can no longer be together,” I said.
Coach nodded. “Okay. We can respect that. If you need any—”
“I don’t,” I said. “I am handling it. I appreciate it, Coach, I really do, but I got this.”
He studied me for a moment, his expression unreadable. Finally, he pinched his lips together and drew in a breath through his nose. “Okay. I can trust that you have it well in hand.”
“Thank you, sir. I know I haven’t been the most social member of the team lately, but that doesn’t mean I’m ignoring myteammates. Just yesterday, Derek and I spent extra time on the ice working on backhand drills, and Nix and I spent all day tracking down his favorite stick tape.”
Coach grinned. “We know. We see how the team looks to you for advice and guidance. Just like they do Evan.”
An unfamiliar feeling settled in my chest. Unease? Trepidation? Where was he going with this?
“That’s why we would like to offer you the Alternate Captain title.”
I was speechless.
I mean, I didn’t have much to say these days, but in this moment, I really should think of something.
“Thank you,” I finally stammered.
