My boss, Quinn, a long-time official turned manager, cleared his throat. “Silas, we’ve been meaning to talk to you for some time now.”
“Oh, yeah?” I said for lack of a better response. I talked to him frequently, so I wasn’t sure why he had a topic that he wanted to talk about but hadn’t brought up until now.
“This was going to happen later in the season, but well, it’s happening now,” he continued.
“What’s happening?” I asked. I was conscious of the fact that I was in an office that also housed some of Elliot’s old hockey gear. He wasn’t the sentimental type, so he didn’t understand why I had framed jerseys of his and had pucks and sticks from all his years playing. I loved all the memorabilia. It was the wall I looked at while I worked in here.
“Ethan is retiring.” Quinn named the referee who had been in the league for nearly twenty years, and with LIcK specifically for the past ten. “It won’t be official until the end of the season, but he’s taking his leave right now. He tore his rotator cuff and needs surgery. The league would like to offer you his position.”
Of all the things he could have said, I did not anticipate that.
It was every ref’s dream to be an official at the top level. To officiate the games the legends played. I knew I was capable, not to toot my own horn, but I knew the rule book better than anyone and nothing got past me. It wasn’t as if being a referee was easy. It was hard work—just as much work as it was for the players themselves. And we definitely got a whole lot less love for it. I had been called every name in the book by fans, by sportscasters, by players themselves, but I still went on the ice.
“I don’t know what to say,” I said.
Quinn laughed. “Say yes, of course. Obviously, there’s a hell of a pay bump. Benefits are all the same. Hell, the schedule isn’t evenmuch more intense. You’ll have to get a whole new crew, but I’m sure you’ve worked with some of the guys before. You’ll be going right on Ethan’s old crew.”
I nodded because I had worked with them a little, or at least met them at events. But I’d never officiated at that level before. I couldn’t, because it was against policy. If they knew who my partner was… Not that I could even call Elliot my partner. Though we might live together, Elliot wouldn’t even refer to himself as my boyfriend.
The world around me screeched to a halt. Hours ago, I was contemplating how I could explain to Elliot that my future was with him, by his side, and now I was being offered a chance of a lifetime. I would be crazy to say no. I was crazy. For Elliot.
“Can I think about it?” I said.
Quinn laughed, then stopped when he realized I wasn’t kidding. “You’re serious?”
I shrugged. “Yeah, I just… let me think it over.” It was madness that a person would want to think about this. This was the literal dream of every person at my level. Yet I hesitated.
“Sure, man. Whatever. But hell, I thought you’d be excited.”
“I am,” I choked out the words. I should’ve been ecstatic, but I worried. Elliot and I would have no choice but to decide our future. “This is amazing. A fantastic opportunity.” And also, a nightmare. The end of the best thing in my life.
“Good. That’s what we like to hear. We need your answer soon, though. We’ve got schedules to figure out, and there are thirty guys behind you that would love this position.”
“Of course. I know.” The gossip mill would be working overtime, and it wouldn’t be long before Elliot heard about this. I couldn’t just decline the job and pretend like nothing happened.
“You really need to think about it?”
“I have some people I want to talk it over with first.”
“Fair enough, we can do that.” He shook his head in disbelief. My phone vibrated, and I knew it was Paul, one of my co-workers, curious about why the hell I would hesitate.
Eventually, we got off the call.
I sat back in the chair. I couldn’t take the officiating position. There was no way I could be a referee for the league and also be in a relationship with a person in the league. That was a huge no-no. A mega conflict of interest. And rightly so.
It was simple. I would not take the position.
But of course, I would have to tell Elliot. Gossip traveled fast in the league, and he would hear about it sooner or later. And if Elliot knew I giving up this job for him… he wouldn’t let me. There was no way. He would never understand how I could love him so much that I would not further my career simply becauseof his career. It wasn’t something I would ever ask of him, and so he would not allow himself to ask it of me.
And fuck, I really didn’t want to find out right now that he didn’t feel for me the way I felt for him. It was too soon. I wasn’t ready for this to be over.
I had a feeling that regardless of what I wanted, I was about to find out where Elliot’s heart lay.
Chapter 7
Elliot
There was never a moment in the world that was so perfect.
