“Maybe. I don’t want to change anything.”
“Do they?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Then don’t worry about it. Just have fun.” She looks down at her belly. “God knows how much fun I’d be having if I didn’t have a kid and another one on the way.”
“Whatever. You’re still the life of the party.”
“Right? So, like…are you guys all…” Her eyebrows waggle.
“All what?” I ask, playing dumb.
“You know? Are you getting naked with them all? Sexing them up? Together? Individually? In a group?”
My face burns like a thousand suns and my jaw drops to the floor.
Anita rolls her eyes. “Stop looking so shocked. You know I’m blunt.”
“I know it’s none of your business.”
Again, she just looks annoyed. “It’s not, but when you’re ready to share the dirty details, I’m here for you.”
Honestly, I’d like to talk about it. How I had sex with all the guys last summer, except Whit, but not since. Not because we didn’t want to, but…time was limited. It felt rushed. Awkward to not see each other often and then just to get naked. We didn’t have enough time to…well, go all the way. We’d gone some of the way. Just notallthe way. It’s one of the reasons that being back terrifies me. I don’t fully know their expectations. What they want. Okay fine, I have a pretty good idea of what they want, but so far, no one has pressured me. At the same time, it’s not like I have to be pressured. I want them. It’s just been more of a situation of time and opportunity.
“Well, I know Justin’s been about to crawl out of his skin for you to get back. He’s driving Bobby and Richard crazy. And Pete was over here this morning day making sure the trailer was all set up.”
Ah, that explained the flower.
I’d promised myself I’d get settled and take a nap before seeing them, but Anita’s making it a challenge.
“I heard there’s a bonfire tonight?”
“Yep,” she says. “On the beach in front of Ivy’s place.”
“I’ll be there.”
She checks the time and sighs. “Okay, I better go check on Mom and grab Sibley. She’s pulling extra Grandma duties lately.”
We hug in the tight space. “Thanks for coming to see me.”
“I’m so glad you’re back. We’re going to have so much fun this summer.”
I feel the bubble of anticipation, because I’ve been waiting for this since last August—ready to be back home, back with my family, and back with my boys.
24
Summer
The palenessof my skin nearly blinds me as I catch sight of it in the mirror. It’s still mid-May and although the afternoons are warm, I’m not sure a bikini is a good idea.
Still, I like the way this one looks. The fabric is green and white stripes, the sides and neck tied with string. A year ago, I would have died to show this much skin, but I’ve become more comfortable in my body and the idea of sun and sand. Living here all summer means I’ll probably need a few more suits.
I’m zipping a long, gray hoodie over my suit when I hear a rap against the metal door. I peek out the little window and see a handsome, eager face.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, lunging into Nick’s broad chest.
“I couldn’t wait,” he says into my hair. He wraps his muscular, football-playing arms around me and holds me tight. “God, I missed you.”
