I don’t know how to tell her what it was like over the last nine months. Missing her. Craving her. I doubled down on my studies—hanging out with Pete, who understood. I ignored every other woman that walked past me, my thoughts solely on Summer,two states away. I thought about her when I laid in bed at night, on the way to class, in the shower. And now she’s here and we’re alone. I don’t know how to say all of that without sounding desperate and lame, so I just kiss her sweetly, then harder until she pulls me on the bed.
I don’t know how to say the words but I show her. I show her how thankful I am for her. How much I care for her, and give her the biggest ‘welcome back’ a guy can manage.
30
Summer
Justin hasto be at the marina early, so I watch him from the bed as he dresses, pulling on the same shirt and shorts as the day before. His hair is a disheveled mess and his blue-green eyes are still sleepy. He vanishes into the tiny bathroom and I lay on the bed, listening to the early sounds of morning at the trailer park. Ms. Dorothy, from next door, is outside walking her dog—talking to him the whole time.
I also listen and smile as Justin struggles in the tiny bathroom but comes back out, running a hand through his hair.
“Thanks for letting me crash,” he says, climbing over the bed.
I hold up my hand. “If you come back over here, I may not let you leave.”
He sighs. “I may not go, and then Bobby would see my Jeep out front, track me down and drag me out of here anyway.” I blinked, processing that information. He frowns. “What?”
“Your Jeep. It’s out front.”
“Uh, yeah. We drove it home last night.”
I jump—no scramble—out of bed and race to the door, blocking Justin.
His eyebrows rise to the top of his forehead. “Babe, what the hell are you doing?”
“You can’t go out there.”
“Why not?”
“Ms. Dorothy will see you and what will she think?”
“She’ll think about how much she loves me and offer me an apple fritter.” He tugs on his hoodie.
“I just…”
He frowns and shifts closer to me—not like there’s much room in here already. “What’s going on?”
“It’s hard, publicly, to juggle you all. I feel weird about it. Like I’m a little...”
“A little what?”
“Loose.” He fights a smile. I hit him in the chest. “I’m serious.”
He sighs. “I get it. I understand. Do you think I wanted to tell everyone at school I’m sharing the hottest girl ever with my best friends? It sounds weird.”
I wrinkle my nose. “Is it weird?”
“I don’t know, but it works for us, don’t you think?”
His hand slips around my waist. “It does, but I don’t want to make things awkward for anyone. I also don’t want to continue my trend of secret relationships. What I had with Mason was a mess.”
“What you had with Mason was a crime.”
I nod, feeling the wave of shame for letting myself get into that.
Justin studies me for a minute. “Mason had the upper hand and was a manipulative, abusive prick. The difference between us and him is that you’ve got a voice—the biggest voice in this relationship. Use it. Tell us how you feel. Tell us what you want.”
“I think for right now, I’d like to keep this out of the public eye. Until I get used to it a little more and people get used to seeing us around.”
