She outlines prenatal vitamins and next steps, but her voice feels distant.
Pregnant. No. This can’t be happening.
I emerge to find Reagan and Jasmine chatting in the waiting room. The second Reagan stands, I break down. “I’m pregnant,” I blurt, tears bursting forth and rolling down my cheeks.
“Oh girl, come on, let’s get outside so we can talk.”
She leads me outside and sits me down on a bench in the breeze. Jasmine sits on the other side, and the two of them stare at me.
“Is she sure?” Reagan asks.
“Yes, apparently quite sure. I don’t know how this happened.”
“It’ll be okay.” Jasmine squeezes my hand. “We’ll figure it out.”
I swallow hard. “I can’t believe this. I don’t know if I’m ready.”
“Come on, let’s go and find somewhere to sit and talk more.”
Reagan finds a cafe nearby where we sit and talk it out. I do feel a little better by the end of it, though my body is still numb when I think about the fact that there is a tiny baby inside me. When they drop me home, Travis is sitting on the porch, beer in hand. I get out of the car, and Reagan assures me it will be fine, and to call her when I have told him. I get out, legs jelly, and walk up the porch.
“Hey baby,” he murmurs. “How are you?”
I texted him and told him I was going to the doctor, but that is as far as I got.
“Can we talk?” I manage.
“Yeah, but first,” he hands me a slender box. “Your birthday gift.”
I take it, trying not to cry, and open it to reveal a delicate diamond necklace. Tears sting my eyes. “It’s beautiful.”
“Nothing could ever be as beautiful as you, but it comes close.”
I take a breath, really not sure how to tell him, so I avoid the subject for a second. “Janice...how is she doing?”
“She’s holding up,” he replies, keeping his tone even. “I’ve advised her to go to the police. I can’t help her further. You’reright, I don’t want anything to come between us and if he is this dangerous, she needs to get a protection order.”
I nod. “Thank you, for doing that for me. I don’t want her problems to be ours. Especially not now.”
He tips his head slightly, confused. “Why not now?”
I draw in a shaky breath. “I’m pregnant.”
He blinks, and the air around us feels as though it just stops and the world goes still.
It takes him a moment to respond. “You’re pregnant?”
I nod.
He runs a hand over his face. “How?”
“I would like to think by this point in life, you know how...”
“Fuck. You were on the pill, you said you were on the pill...”
“I did, I was, I just—sometimes I missed a morning, especially with the shooting and stuff...”
The words bunch up in my throat. I study the porch steps, so I don’t have to see the way Travis is looking at me. He doesn’t look angry, just shocked and not in a good way. “I’m sorry.”
