The reality hits, as jarring as the first slap of cold water: the ocean is not a playground, and we are not safe anywhere, not even on this patch of flawless sand. I look out to sea, horizon clouded with haze, and all I can think is, if the water wants us, it will take us, and there will be nothing left. Aggie kneels beside me, a hand on my shoulder. “You’re fucking insane,” she breathes, but there’s gratitude in her eyes.
“I couldn’t lose another one,” I croak.
Ace growls, low in his throat. “Nobody is worth losin’ your life for. Don’t be a fuckin’ hero.”
I meet his eyes, and I can see the fury and also fear in them. He was scared then, scared he wouldn’t get me back. My heart skips a beat.
Rachel collapses on the ground, and we both slowly get our breaths back. My lungs are still seizing, but I don’t care. I’m alive, and that means I have to figure out how to keep all of us that way. I look at Aggie, then Ace, and then back to Rachel, who is staring at me. We don’t need to say anything. We’re all thinking it: this is never going to get easier. It’s only going to get worse.
“Come on, sweetpea,” Ace murmurs, lifting me into his arms. “You need to get dry.”
He carries me up to the camp, and Kellen does the same for Rachel. Everyone else follows quietly behind. The ocean is still clawing at the shore, like it’s pissed off and doesn’t want to let us go. Ace places me down, wrapping me in a blanket and I watch it, from the dry ground.
Maybe there really is no such thing as safe anymore.
11
THE DAYS ROLL ON, ALMOSTin slow motion, as if we’re repeating the same one over and over again. We’re all affected; with every passing day, our determination dwindles. Some days, we don’t really even speak to each other. We just sit, waiting, as if everything will just suddenly change. It’s sombre, and if we don’t change it soon, we may very well die out here.
Yet it seems we are unable to drag ourselves out of it.
Rachel has set up camp right near Iris’ grave. She spent days creating her own shelter, and I have to admit, it’s actually pretty good. Sure, it probably wouldn’t hold up in severe weather, but overall, it’s quite solid. She has used a large rock formation by the water to be the structure of her shelter, and built off it. There she spends most of her time. Maybe it’s a distraction, or maybe she just can’t stand being near us.
Either way, it’s keeping her hands and mind busy.
“See the clouds out there.”
We’re sitting around the fire, I don’t even know what time it is, maybe early afternoon. Zeke’s eyes are on the looming clouds in the distance, a subtle threat. None of us have actually considered what we would do if another storm rolled in, but looking at those gray clouds has us all considering our next steps. My eyes meet Aggie’s, and she looks anxious. Tatiana is sleeping, curled on her side. I don’t think she is handling everything right now.
Maybe it’s the sudden lack of medication.
I feel for her.
“I’m seein’ them,” Ace mutters, a stick in hand, fire on the end because he has been poking it in the flames for the last twenty minutes.
“If that comes closer, we need to have a plan,” Zeke goes on.
Kellen, who is laying on his back, hands behind his head, nods in agreement.
“And what, dare I ask, is that plan?” Aggie questions, bringing her knees up to her chest.
“Well, we certainly can’t go anywhere,” Adrian points out, filleting a fish that is far too small to eat, but he caught it so he insisted we eat it.
“No shit,” Zeke mumbles.
