“It ain’t fuckin’ ego,” he spits.
I flinch.
Then, I take a deep breath and go over, crouching down next to him, knees digging into wet ground. “I need you here,” I whisper, my voice raw. “Ace, I don’t think I can survive this if something happens to you. Don’t you see that?”
His whole body softens. He turns his body towards mine, taking my face in his hands. “I’m not goin’ anywhere, do you hear me?”
“You can’t promise that,” I whisper, my throat suddenly so tight I can’t breathe.
“Baby, I can.”
He presses his forehead to mine, and we sit like that for a long time, just feeling each other. Fear crushes my chest, fear that I might lose him, fear that something will happen, fear that this will all destroy me because I’m falling in love with this man.
So fucking hard.
I can’t think about it right now, because it is utterly terrifying.
“Promise me you won’t kill each other,” I plead. “At least not until we get off this island. Then you can do whatever you want, hell, I might even help you.”
He almost smiles. “Deal.”
We don’t move for a long time, just sit like that in the falling dark, the forest breathing around us, the beach crashing against the shore in the distance. Eventually, I finish washing the blood off his face, and we slip back through the trees. By the time we step onto the beach again, the sun is setting. Kellen is gone, Zeke is staring into the fire, and the girls are busy preparing dinner. I try to read their faces, but everyone’s looking anywhere but at us.
Ace stands a few feet away and doesn’t say a word.
Zeke does. “You two good?”
“Yeah,” Ace mutters, voice hoarse but even. “We’re good. I’ll go sort it out.”
He presses a long kiss to my forehead, then he’s off to find Kellen. I get to work helping Aggie fillet the fish, so we can cook it.
“That was terrifying,” she whispers, as we prepare the flesh. “Seeing them fight like that. It was so... real and intense.”
“It was a glimpse into their world,” Tatiana says, kneeling beside the fire trying to crack a coconut. “They’re so scary, when they’re moving like that. Like wild animals. I have never seen anything like it.”
“It was somewhat impressive,” I admit. “I can see why they’re champions.”
“It’s impressive until it isn’t,” Rachel mutters from the log by the fire. “Until someone is dead.”
She’s right, and we all fall silent.
We continue preparing dinner. Ace and Kellen arrive back an hour later, both of them banged up. They’re not hanging off each other in some form of bromance makeup but they’re not punching each other either, so that’s something.
We all eat in silence, everyone finally talked out.
When I finally stretch out on my bed later that night, my whole body buzzing with aftershocks, I realize I’m not shaking anymore. Not inside, not out. It felt like it took hours to stop that fear coursing through me. I had to push my mind away from the idea of Ace not being here. I’m scared about how I feel, and I’m scared about what it will mean.
I think I love him, and that’s crippling.
Out here, where everything can change in an instant, love is dangerous.
I forget about it the second he wraps his body around mine, though.
The way he makes me feel, safe and heard, is something I couldn’t have ever anticipated.
I’m absolutely fucking terrified.
“COME ON, GIVE US SOMETHIN’to look forward to,” Zeke says, leaning back against the log, arms crossed, rum in hand. “All this time, and we have never seen you ladies dance.”
