So, Jordan was right to encourage me to speak with someone that wasn’t her or Nate. I’m a better man for it, which means I’m a better partner to her. These days that means the most to me. Showing up for her in every way I can is a new experience that makes my chest puff with pride. Nothing makes me happier than being there for her in all the ways she’s never experienced. We were exactly what the other needed.
We are exactly what the other needs.
We needed each other greatly when it came to dealing with my mom. In the six months that followed, there were court proceedings for her, and while I didn’t have to attend all of them for my part in things, I still did. If it had been someone else, I may not have, but because it was my mother, I felt, on some crazy, fucked up level, like I needed to be there.
In the end, she pleaded guilty to a felony charge of false imprisonment. She ended up with the felony because of the needle. Turned out, the thing was loaded with meth laced with fentanyl that could have killed Jordan.
It still makes my stomach churn when I think about that. How close I was to the possibility of losing her. I’ve lain awake many nights thinking if I’d said one thing wrong, or done one thing differently, my mom may have killed the love of my life, and I wouldn’t have her today.
When it came to sentencing, both Jordan and I were granted permission to read letters. Jordan was kind. Maybe it was the nurse in her, but she asked for leniency, and shorter jail time. She asked the judge to make rehab part of the sentence, especially when my mom got out of jail. I didn’t fully understand her choice, but Istood behind her on it.
Me, on the other hand, asked for the harshest punishment the law could hand down. There wasn’t an ounce of sympathy in my body for her. It was years of resentment and anger finally being allowed to come out. Finally being allowed to have a voice. And even though it was opposite her choice, Jordan supported me in my decision.
The judge sentenced her to two years in jail and two years’ probation. Though I looked directly at her on more than one occasion, I never spoke a single word to her. I haven’t visited her in jail, nor do I have plans to. But I work on my anger and resentment every day, and every day I’m stronger for it. Jordan was right. Despite my mom, I’ve become a pretty incredible guy. I deserved a mother’s love and didn’t get it, but now I have the love of a woman so perfect for me it makes me feel whole in a way I didn’t know was possible.
“Pretty fucking spectacular, isn’t it?” I whisper into that woman’s ear.
We’re standing at the edge of Lipan Point on the Grand Canyon’s South Rim. The first trip we made to the Grand Canyon wasn’t nearly enough to satisfy either one of us. It was rushed. It was to give Jordan something I knew she wanted so badly, even if only for a second. This trip is to get the full experience.
We got in late last night after flying into Vegas in the afternoon and then driving out to Grand Canyon Village, where we spent the night at the El Tovar Hotel. This morning we got up and did the ultimate tourist attraction by taking a spin in a helicopter to see the eagle eye views of the canyon. It was breathtaking. The Canyon is impressive at the rim, but to see it from the sky is otherworldly. I would do it again in a heartbeat.
Once we were back from that, we had a light lunch and thenwent on a hike before heading back to the hotel to freshen up so we could jump in the rental car and drive to Lipan Point to catch the sunset. We’ve been here for twenty minutes, and the display the sun and clouds are giving us has already been worth the drive. Not that it wouldn’t have been beautiful back at the Village, but this place is nearly deserted, and the Village was still crawling with tourists like us.
Jordan hums her agreement. “I don’t know what’s more magical. The helicopter this morning, or this sunset.”
Her head falls back against my chest, and I press a kiss to the side of it. My arms tighten around her. It’s not like she can get any closer, but I’ll never stop trying. She calls physical touch my love language. I constantly tell her it’s because I’m a man, of course physical touch is my love language, and I always get a roll of her eyes.
Fucking love it when she rolls her eyes at me.
“The sunset. Definitely the sunset,” I inform her.
She giggles, turning her head to look up at me. “Because you couldn’t be all over me in the helicopter?”
I grin at her. “You know me so well.”
“You can be rather predictable at times.”
There’s one other reason I’m choosing the sunset, but she doesn’t know that. Yet. It’s been on my mind for a few months now, but I wanted to get through everything with my mom before I did anything official. Now that it’s behind us, and we can move forward, I want to take a huge leap into the unknown.
Releasing one arm from around her, I nuzzle my face into her hair while I shove my hand in my pocket and fish something out. It’s more symbolic than anything, but it felt right when I grabbed it from a drawer before we left home yesterday.
Bringing my arm back around her, I find her hand and slidethe little object into her palm. Her head bows to look at what I just placed there. It takes her a second to recognize that it’s a key I’ve just given her, but when she does, she half turns in my arms, her eyebrows pulled together, perplexed.
“What is this?”
“A key.”
“Yes, brainiac,” Jordan laughs, rolling her eyes at me. “I can see that it’s a key. Why are you giving it to me?”
“Move in with me.”
Her mouth opens to answer, then closes. When she repeats the motion, I can’t help but laugh. My hands find her hips and I swivel her back towards the sunset.
“Watch the sunset with me.”
“I don’t care about the sun!” she says, spinning back around. “Liam!”
“Jordan.”
