Glancing at myself in the floor to ceiling mirror, a smile as devilish as the devil himself graces my lips. Yeah, I look as tantalizing as I feel. My gold chain, backless shirt hangs perfectly, flaunting the girls just as I intended. The structured black shorts are understated and allow the shirt to do all the talking. And the gold heels that Liam made me keep on the other night complete my look.
He's so screwed.
The elevator finally arrives in the lobby and I’m off in a dash. It’s not far to the casino bar, but it’s far enough in these shoes. Plus, it’s a lot more crowded than the previous two nights. Thursday night. All the weekend people are starting to arrive.
“Jordan?” I hear my name called over the ringing of machines all around.
Glancing over my shoulder, thinking someone just has the same name as me, a familiar face flashes in my line of sight, causing me to do a double take.
I freeze on the spot, half turned towards the blond manmaking his way quickly toward me with a smile that makes me feel sick to my stomach. No, he isn’t smiling. He’s leering, his eyes moving up and down my body in appreciation.
Paul.
I’d all but forgotten his bachelor party was in Vegas this weekend.
“I thought that was you. I’d never forget that flower tattoo on your shoulder,” he says, his eyes lingering on the space between my breasts.
A space that I suddenly wish I could remove from his vision by wrapping my arms around myself. I knew I would be subject to stares in this shirt—hell, everything I’ve worn this week—but if I’d known I’d run into Paul tonight, I would have put something a lot less revealing on. I feel dirty with him looking at me like this.
Shifting uncomfortably, I glance at a slot machine to my right, wishing I could disappear into the floor.
“You look downright delectable, Jor. Damn.”
The tone of his voice means one thing and one thing only. He’s horny and wants sex. I’ve been subjected to it a million times. At one time I craved it. I wanted him to look at me like this and sound like that at all times. It made me feel sexy, desired. Cherished even.
Now I want to vomit. He’s disgusting. He’s getting married for god’s sake!
That’s probably why he chose to have his bachelor party in Vegas, though, right? So he could cheat on her without consequence?
He takes a step toward me. “What are you doing in Vegas?”
I take a step back, maintaining the distance between us. “I, uh, it’s… it’s Nate’s wedding.”
Not only am I stumbling over my words, my heart is racing,and my hands are shaking. My nervous system is preparing for danger, though Paul doesn’t present any besides the danger to my mental health, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. I hate it. I hate so much that this man has the power over me to have this kind of response; where I’m no longer in control of how my body reacts to him.
“Right. Sarah, right?” he asks with a pleasant enough smile. He doesn’t give a shit.
My jaw clenches before correcting him. “Savanna.”
“Right,” he snaps his fingers. “Real pretty thing.”
Taking a long, deep breath so I don’t show him how much that stings, because I can only imagine the things he thought back when we were together, I take another step back.
It doesn’t deter him.
“Are you staying here?” he asks, his eyes raking back down my body. It takes everything in me not to visibly shudder. “We should get a drink while we’re both in town. Catch up.”
Paul doesn’t want a drink. I can see his play from a mile away. How was I ever stupid enough to fall for it? Over and over again I fell for him and his shit. All he wants is to fuck me. Probably just so he can say he did, right before his wedding.
When I can’t find my tongue, I recognize how I fell for it all those times. I could never think of something to say to him. I could never even come up with the word no. Especially not if he wined and dined me first. Even the times when I didn’t want to get back together with him, or sleep with him, I never knew how to say no.
I’m not sure it would have mattered if I did.
Suddenly I feel like the young girl in my bedroom at Nate’s party. Knowing I don’t want to go any further but not knowing how to voice it. I never realized until this moment the correlation between Paul and that situation. Paul was my boyfriend. We weretogether for years. Who was I to say no to him?
The feeling of tears stings the back of my eyes as the thoughts come rushing in, overwhelming me. Threatening to crush me. I will not cry. I cannot cry. He doesn’t deserve anymore of my tears.
But that girl that was with him, and the one before her? She’s worthy of them. She’s allowed to have them.
