“Thanks.”
His arms wrap around my waist, and he pulls me in, pressing my body flush to his in a tight hug that has him burying his face into the side of my neck. It catches me off guard. It’s not like we haven’t hugged before, but it’s normally him comforting me. This feels more like him needing comfort. Sliding my arms around his neck, I squeeze him back, only understanding that he needs this.
“Suppose my reputation is pretty bad when my own best friend is questioning how I act around his sister,” he says with a self-deprecating chuckle, his voice half muffled by my skin.
It makes me hug him fiercely. Now I understand. Nate had no idea that Liam was on the other side of the room, and it couldn’t have been easy for Liam to hear those thoughts that weren’t meant for his ears. I thought the penis comment would have more of an effect on Liam, but now I think I was mistaken.
“I think he was just worried after seeing Paul,” I reassure him,curling my fingers into the hair at the back of his head. “I think it threw him as much as it did me. At least until you showed up.” Turning my head an inch, I press my lips to his cheek. “Thank you, by the way.”
“I’ll be there for you anytime you need.”
We stand like that for a while. Neither of us moving, neither of us willing to let go of the other. Just taking strength from each other in the ways we both need while we breathe in sync. It’s calming and peaceful, making me wish that we could stand here like this forever.
Finally he takes a deep breath, releasing it against my neck in a light chuckle. “Guess I’m not really giving Nate a reason not to question how I am, am I? If he knew the things I’ve been doing to you…”
It should probably make me feel guilty. Hell, the whole situation tonight with Nate should probably make me feel guilty. But I don’t. I broke my promise, and I feel terrible about it, but I’m not going to feel guilty anymore. How can I feel guilty about something that feels so right?
It was one more of the things I thought about with my alone time. I love Nate to pieces, but I don’t regret a second I’ve spent with Liam this week.
“All the things you’ve done to me have been wanted. Some of them even needed.” Lifting my head, I lean away from him enough that his own head comes up. “You’ve been nothing but respectful.”
He regards me for a moment. I can see the wheels turning in his mind, but I haven’t a clue what he’s thinking about. It’s like he’s trying to make a decision, and he doesn’t know which way he should go.
There’s always been a joke in our friend group that involves Liam. That he’s emotionally stunted and doesn’t get certainthings, probably never will. It all started because he doesn’t date and was always scared of things like tears and emotions. But I’ve seen the man grow in leaps and bounds the last few months since he started being my shoulder to cry on.
Questioning himself and the things he’s done to me this week, though? It’s like he’s taken ten giant steps backwards. Or maybe he never really took any forward. Maybe I’ve just been thinking he did because he stopped being scared of the tears. He started accepting them and all the emotions that came along with them.
Or maybe all of his emotional intelligence flies out the window the second we’re talking about his feelings. Because we never do. We never talk about him. Not truly, anyway. Small talk about his shift at the firehouse and if there was an interesting call. Or his day at home with Tosha if it’s a day off. But to truly talk about anything that affects him? Never.
“Do you trust me?” he finally asks, his light brown eyes as serious as I’ve ever seen them.
My mouth opens to tell him yes immediately, but before I say a word, I close it again, thinking about my answer. It’s not a matter of whether I trust him. I do. Wholly. I would trust this man with my life. But his question makes me wonder whether or not he trusts me—or anyone for that matter.
“I do,” I say after a brief hesitation, slowly nodding my head.
The frown he produces looks odd on him. There’s more and he can tell. “But?”
I shake my head. “There’s no but. Not when it comes to whether I trust you. I do. I just wonder if that’s reciprocated.”
“Of course I trust you,” he says as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, his frown deepening.
“Do you, though?” I question, tilting my head to the side earnestly. “Do you trustanyone fully?”
“Of course,” he repeats, lifting his head confidently. “Everyone at the station. All my friends. Every day I have to trust them to have my back.”
“Do you ever open up to any of them?” Moving my hands to his shoulders, I give them a gentle squeeze. “Look, if you don’t want to tell anyone anything, that’s okay. I just hate to think about the things you’re missing out on because you don’t let anyone fully in. Apparently not even Nate.”
We both know I’m talking about the conversation we had at the Grand Canyon today in regard to why he is the way he is. I can see the recognition in his eyes.
He opens his mouth to say something, but I cut him off with a finger to his lips. “I’m not asking you to tell me anything if you don’t want to, but I need you to know that I don’t think you give yourself enough credit for being a genuinely good, decent guy.” Exchanging my index finger for my thumb, I run it across his bottom lip, my eyes flicking down to watch for a second. “I think you’ve put yourself into a box, and it’s become your identity. Or at least the identity that you want people to see.”
“My reputation.”
I nod in agreement. “You said it yourself that it must be bad if your own best friend is questioning you. But I don’t question you. I’ve seen a side of you over the past few months, and especially this week, that I don’t think you show to many, if anyone.”
Standing on my tip toes, I press a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I like this side of you. I like every side of you. I think maybe it’s time I showed you just how much. Just how perfect I think you are.”
“Perfect?” he scoffs.
