What in the fuck have I been doing? What the fuck is wrongwith me?
“We’ll do it,” Jordan abruptly says, both her arms looping around my waist.
I feel like I’m in a daze, everything moving slowly as I look down at her, completely confused. She’s been fighting against this the entire time, and now she sounds more eager than I was.
“It’s a good idea,” she nods quickly, then glances up at me. Her eyes are insistent that I agree. “If it helps Nate feel relaxed for his wedding day, it’s a good idea. Let’s do it for him.”
“Right.” Plastering a smile on my face that I’m not sure I feel, I try to infuse my nod with the same eagerness I felt before. “Anything for you, man.”
An easy smile slides across his face as he squeezes Savanna to his side. “I appreciate it. Both of you.”
If he knew the truth, he wouldn’t appreciate anything. Least of all both of us, but most of all me.
If Nate ever finds out the truth, the trust between us is going to be shattered. That doesn’t just affect Jordan and me. It affects my entire existence in this world. The entire family that I’ve chosen for myself.
It affects every single person in my life.
What in the ever loving fuck have I done?
Chapter 15
Jordan
“Ohshoot,”Igrumble,sifting through my clutch. “I forgot my lipstick.”
It’s a production for Nate and Savanna’s benefit. My lipstick is tucked safely at the bottom of my purse, but I need a moment alone with Liam before we face the evening. Before we face the aunts. Before we face anything.
Nate screwed him up. I could tell right away when his body went rigid against mine. I pictured him confessing every sordid detail of our affair this week, and I had to put an end to it, even if I don’t know that playing a couple is a great idea.
Actually, I know it isn’t. I’m already enjoying everything between Liam and me far too much, especially after he put his total trust in me last night. Having the separation while in public was necessary to keep my heart from getting even more involved. Now I’m not even going to have that.
Unless Liam continues to freak out. He’s completely stiff beside me, and not in the way I like.
“You want us to wait?” Savanna asks as Nate puts a hand out to hold the elevator that’s just arrived.
“No, no. You guys go on ahead. There are people waiting for you.” I wave them to go. “Liam can come with me, so we show up downstairs together.”
“Okay, we’ll see you down there.”
Spinning Liam and me back toward our rooms, I drag him along the hallway. He follows easily enough, but I think it has more to do with the fact he’s in some sort of daze than realizing what’s going on. I wouldn’t normally consider Liam the spiraling type—it’s not something I’ve ever seen or heard that he’s done at work—but I think he’s spiraling hard right now.
The second we step over the threshold to my room, I grab his face between my hands to yank him down to me. There’s only a small resistance to my move before he meets me halfway, my lips colliding with his in a punishing kiss.
One that has all the hesitation on his part, and none on mine.
My hands slide down to his collar and then the front of his black shirt, wrapping it in my fingers as I hold him to me, begging him with my lips to kiss me back. I know his hesitation. I understand the guilt that I’m certain he’s feeling right now. But I need him to snap out of it, and physicality is Liam’s love language.
After what seems like an eternity, his lips begin to move against mine, his body responding to me the way I knew it would. He walks us backwards until my back hits the wall, his hands finding my hips for his fingertips to dig into.
When I’m certain I have his full attention, I jerk my head back, ripping my lips from his. It’s left us both breathless and huffing, but the interruption is needed. It might be the place, but it definitely isn’t the time to be getting carried away.
“You back with me?” I ask him, my lips pulsing from the aggression he started to show in our impromptu make out session. The one Nate forbade.
“Fuck,” he sighs, pressing his forehead against mine.
With that one sigh, I can feel the defeat consume him again, but before I can kiss him out of it, he pulls away from me, stumbling back until he hits the opposite wall.
“I’m his best fucking man, Jor,” he says, shaking his head.
