I spin towards him, my eyes wild, a renewed surge of anger causing me to throw the t-shirt in my hand at my bed. Immediately I wish I hadn’t so I could wave it in his face instead.
“You call yourself a friend?” I screech. “Do you even know why Liam is the way he is? Have you ever bothered to ask why he doesn’t date? Do you understand why he’s only ever wanted to fuck women?”
The questions are rhetorical because I know he doesn’t know. And when he rears back, just like Liam did in the garage, I put my foot on the gas and keep going. “No, you don’t. You have no idea. Have you ever even asked him? Do you even care?”
“We don’t talk about that shit.” It’s a weak excuse and Nate knows it.
“Which means you don’t know enough about him to have an opinion on whether he’s good enough for me or not!” I throw my hands up and turn in frustration towards my bed, grabbing clothesto shove into the bag.
“You broke your promise to me.”
With half the things on my bed in my bag, I pause to face him again. “You’re right. I did. And for that I’m truly sorry, Nate. Maybe one day you’ll let me explain everything to you, and maybe you’ll understand. Or maybe you won’t, I don’t know. But today isn’t that day.”
Suddenly I feel exhausted, like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. The adrenaline from Nate walking in on us, and then the scene with Liam, is starting to wear off, and the heaviness in my chest is growing. All I want to do is curl up somewhere in a ball and cry it out.
I finish packing my bag as Savanna and Nate have a silent conversation behind me. I know because I’ve lived with them for the last year, and it happens more often than one would think. They gesture with their hands and while they think they’re silent, their movements generate enough noise that I’ve learned to pick up on it.
“You know what?” I say, slinging my bag over my shoulder. “I should honestly probably thank you, Nate.” Releasing a sigh of defeat, I raise my tired eyes to my brother and offer a sad smile. “It’s better I know now that he’s not willing to fight for me rather than find out six months, or a year from now, when I’m even more in love with him.”
I didn’t mean to say that last part out loud. I meant to say when it would hurt even more, but the words just seemed to tumble from my lips before I could stop them. It doesn’t matter. They’re the truth. It’s just the first, and probably only time, I’ll say them out loud. Maybe it’s better that I said it. At least it’s in the universe and I can let them go.
Let him go.
“Jor…” Savanna says softly, reaching out a hand to touch my shoulder.
I dance out of her grasp, darting around my brother. “I need to go.”
“Where are you going?” Nate asks gruffly, emotion thick in his voice. The gravity of the evening weighing down on him? I don’t know.
“Away from this. From you. From Liam.”
Stopping in the bathroom, I grab my toiletries, stuffing them in my bag. They’ve both followed me down the hallway, but neither of them are standing in my way as I come out and head toward the kitchen.
“Text me, okay? Let me know you’re okay,” Savanna requests as I hit the couple of stairs to the back door.
I glance over my shoulder at the two of them and give a short nod before I’m out the door. I’ll text her, but it won’t be when I’m okay. I’m not sure that’ll ever be possible again. Our romance may have only started three weeks ago, but our bond was forged years ago, and in the last few months has deepened beyond what I could have imagined. Liam wasn’t just Nate’s best friend, I realize. He’d become mine.
Chapter 24
Jordan
Wrappingathrowblanketaround my shoulders, I tuck one leg under me when I sit down in the corner of Quinn’s overstuffed couch. The plate of nachos I just made sits on the coffee table, and I lean over to grab them, pulling them onto my lap. My attention doesn’t turn back to the movie I’m in the middle of—Dirty Dancing—but to my phone on the arm of the couch.
Liam’s face stares at me, and I shove a mess of three chips into my mouth, as though they’ll protect me from the smile beaming at me. Savanna, the witch, sent over a few photos from the wedding, and she made sure to include ones featuring Liam and me. So I’m doing what any normal sane woman would do and torturing myself with them.
My current obsession is one of us dancing. The moment when the whole world around us had disappeared into oblivion, and it was only the two of us in the room. The photographer took it from behind me, capturing the look in Liam’s eyes, and it’s unmistakable. The love there can’t be faked. It makes my broken heart ache for him. Love that feels so far away, so unattainable, so lost. And yet it’s there. So close I feel like I could reach out and touch it.
If only…
The door to the apartment opens, and Quinn’s voice rings out. “Honey, I’m home!”
I smile through the second mouthful of chips I just shoved in my mouth, blinking back the film of tears in my eyes. “Mhmmhhmmm!”
“Oh Jesus, again?” Quinn asks with a level of exasperation that has me turning my head to where she’s appeared in the kitchen. Her front door is down an entryway but opens up to a kitchen and living room open concept. “Seriously, Jor? Dirty Dancing again? Nachos? Again?”
Swallowing my mouthful, I shrug, casting my eyes down at my plate as I subtly lock my phone to make the picture disappear. “It’s my comfort food. And yes, Dirty Dancing. Leave my choices alone.”
Some girls like ice cream. I prefer to inject myself with as much salt as possible to remain as bloated as possible.
