“Why are you doing this?” I snapped. “Am I supposed to live alone, Sable? Is that what you want? To never touch anyone? To never have a choice? Because I can’t go back to that. I won’t.”
Her jaw tightened.
“This isn’t about you being alone.”
Silence stretched.
“It’s about what happens when you lose control.”
The words settled heavy in the air.
“You know what you can do,” she continued. “You know what happens when you get overwhelmed.”
She looked at me. “How will you handle intimacy with them, Seph? Do you even know?”
My throat tightened. I thought of the way Dev had touched me. How he made me feel beautiful just for one night.
Nothing had broken. Nothing had burned.
But how could I make her understand that?
“I haven’t hurt any of them, Sable.”
The words came out quieter than I meant them to.
“Does that mean you won’t?”
I stared at her. “I’m not stupid, Sable. No one understands what I can do more than me. I’m not dumb enough to risk their lives for my goddamn hormones.”
Her eyes narrowed. “You already distract them, Seph. Look what happened today. Isn’t that enough?”
“You think that’s all I am?” I shot back. “A distraction? A weakness?”
“No,” she said sharply. “I think you’re a catalyst.”
“And what does that mean?”
“Seph, they’re elite because they operate clean. Clean loyalties. Clean focus. Today? They fractured.”
I swallowed.
“Seph… they’re not thinking clearly around you. And you know that.”
“Sable, I really care about them,” I said quietly.
“I know you do,” she said gently. “Which is why you should let them go. You know it’s the right thing to do.”
Let them go.
I waited a pause and said. “You know, actually I’m not feeling well. Maybe you shouldn’t stay tonight.”
“Seph,” Sable sighed.
“I’m not upset. I’m just tired. Really.” I said evenly, forcing a smile. “A good night’s sleep will make all the difference.
“Ok, well, you know where I am,” she got up and moved for the door.
“If I need you, I’ll call.”
