“Who would I tell, Dev? All the experiments were sanctioned by the Council of Light. As a proclaimed Null, I already had little rights. And he was my father.”
“Were you the only one he did this to? What about Sable?”
“As far as I know it was just me. Like I said, no one would dare do anything to Sable. She was the special one. The one everyone loved.”
“This is horrible. How did you live through this?”
I swallowed, looking down at my sleeves.
“How did I live through it?” I echoed quietly.
A breath shuddered out of me.
“I didn’t,” I said. “Not really.”
Dev stilled completely.
“I just… existed,” I continued. “I took whatever they did to me. I did what I was told. I shut everything down and hoped one day it would stop. That was survival. Not living.”
My voice cracked once — barely.
“And honestly?” I whispered. “Some days I wished it would kill me. Because at least then it would be over.”
Dev swallowed. “I’m so sorry Seph.”
“Hey. It’s not your fault. It is what it is. I can’t change who I am now. I can’t change what he did. All I can do is try and manage it.”
“By hiding. By pretending to be a Null.”
“Why not? Its worked so far, right?” I looked away. “Are you going to tell anyone else about this?”
Dev hesitated. “Do you want me to?”
“No. I don’t want to talk about it at all. But I can’t control what you do, Dev. You asked for an explanation and I gave it. I guess it’s in your hands now.”
“Why did you tell me all that? You don’t even really know me, Seph.”
“I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I see you. You come across as all scary sometimes – and you are. But in your aura, I don’t know I see … kindness. Decency.”
“I’m not a good person, Seph.”
“Neither am I. It still doesn’t change anything.”
Dev’s jaw flexed once, the only sign he’d been hit by my words harder than he wanted me to see.
“…It changes one thing,” he said finally, voice low. “You trusted me with something no one else knows.”
His eyes lifted to hers — steady, unblinking, almost unnervingly honest.
“So now it’s my responsibility to protect it. And you.”
He didn’t say he’d keep the secret.
He didn’t swear loyalty.
He didn’t make promises he couldn’t keep.
He just stated a fact — the way Dev does when something becomes law inside him.
