Ever.
With a sigh, I leave the stands and head to the Vipers’ locker room. Naturally, I receive the welcome of warriors. The team members slap me on the back and say they would’ve won if I’d been there.
“Naturally. You bitches are butchering the championship I worked so hard for. My ego is dying.”
“Then maybe you shouldn’t have gotten shot.” Jude kicks me as he heads to his locker, a towel wrapped around his middle.
“Kaaane! Jude just kicked a patient.” I hold our captain by the shoulder, and yup, he’s already the first one dressed. “Punch him for me.”
“Your limbs work just fine.”
“You’re right.” I kick Jude back, and he nearly falls because he’s pulling his jeans up. “I told Vee to go home because you’re busy tonight.”
He slams the locker closed, then spins around to face me. “Fuck is wrong with you, Pres?”
“Today or in general?” I grin.
Jude releases a long sigh. “You just said that to piss me off.”
“Amazing deduction skills. Brownie points for my man Callahan!”
Yes, I’m petty because he checked Marcus too much for my liking tonight, but I can’t threaten him with bodily harm if he touches Marcus again, because, well, they don’t know aboutus.
Sure, they know I’ve been busy lately, especially at night, but they think it’s because of therapy and spending time with Dad and Miley.
Not sure they’d accept the simple explanation I came up with: “So, my bros, I’m fucking Marcus on the regular, have been for months, actually. Any questions?”
Which is ridiculous. Dad knows. June knows. Even Andrew knows. I shouldn’t be this apprehensive about Jude and Kane finding out as well.
I am, though.
They’ve only ever seen me with girls, and the coming-out bit is kind of freaking me out a little.
What if they take it badly?
Kane is more pragmatic, and his uncle is in a gay relationship with a much younger dude. First one in Vencor to get away with it, but this is me we’re talking about.
Jude and Kane saw me with that teacher. They probably think I’d be disgusted with anything gay, which I convinced myself I was for years.
Until Marcus came in and I was finally able to face my own sexuality, take it back, accept it, and come to peace with it.
I’m probably bi or something like that. I still find women attractive, and I’m not attracted to other men aside from Marcus. I don’t think I’ll ever allow anyone to touch me the way Marcus does.
I will never trust anyone the way I trust him.
Most importantly, in reclaiming my sexuality, I stopped being just a victim.
Like Mom said in the dream—I’m a survivor.
I’m not what happened to me; I’m who I choose to be.
Still, I can’t be like, “Yo, guys. I actually love dick. Marcus’s dick, to be more precise. Let’s all be friends?”
Yeah, right.
Not going to happen. At least, not now. Need to think of a better way to broach the subject.
“You joining us at the club?” Kane asks me. “The team could use some entertainment.”
