“So I screwed things up all around.”
“You think your grandma hasn’t wanted to hit my rock-hard head with a frying pan once or twice? Give Hannah a reason to stop being angry. Remind her of the good stuff. Land sakes, son, this ain’t rocket science.”
He snorted. “Rocket science might be easier.”
“Don’t overcomplicate matters. If you could wipe the past clean, would you still want her? Answer me honestly.”
He was jealous of the Scot. Which was just great. He wasstill attracted to her and moved to aching tenderness when he saw her with his boy. If they didn’t have all this baggage, he would have asked her out in a hot second. “Yes, I would.”
“See how simple it is. Now, I’m going to go on and say hello before Cooper drags her completely away.” He opened the door to the cab. “If you’re smart, you’ll show her all the reasons to stay herewith youin Sanctuary Springs like you both had always talked about.”
He didn’t like to push back with Gramps, but he couldn’t stop himself. “I hear what you’re saying, but like you said, I need to make up my own mind.”
“Don’t I know it?” He tapped him on his well-loved Stetson. “Only don’t be too stubborn, Ben. It’s a fine McAllister trait with cattle, horses, and bad weather but not women. Listen to an old man. I don’t want to see you sitting alone on the porch, like your father. He’s lonely—even in the midst of land and family. Deep down, we both know you don’t want your life to turn out that way neither.”
Taking the descent slowly, Gramps climbed down from the tractor and headed over to the group. Hannah caught sight of him and smiled widely, and when Gramps arrived, she kissed his wrinkled cheek as he pulled her close. Whatever he muttered in her ear had her laughing, the sound as clear and pure as the water running in the adjoining creek.
He cursed under his breath as he watched his grandfather look back over his shoulder and drill him with a glare. He felt like a bad little boy. Muttering to himself, he swung down from the tractor and started walking over. His gaze went to his father. He was still clearing branches with the other hands, yet somehow a man apart. For as long as Ben remembered, since his mother had left, that was how his father had been.
He hadn’t thought about ending up the same way, but that was why Gramps had smacked him upside the head with the mention.
Deep down, he didn’t want to end up alone. What man did? God knew no other woman had interested him. When he’d gone into town, there had been some attempts at flirtation, sure, but nothing solid. He wasn’t big on casual encounters. He didn’t have the time or temperament for them.
Cooper and the ranch had been his focus. He supposed he could keep cruising like that if he didn’t make a change.
Was he condemning himself to live a lonely life if he didn’t at least try to make up with Hannah? They had the spark to light the fire again, but did they have enough staying power to keep it burning?
If he was being completely honest with himself, the problem wasn’t about passion with him and Hannah. It was about commitment and ensuring the actions matched the words.
“You made a mistake not going to Scotland with Hannah. Admit it. Tell her you’re sorry. Then make up. She loves you—even if she’s madder than a wet hen at you reneging on going along with her. You step back and think a second, you’d be pretty mad in her place.”
For his part, he wondered if he’d fully trust that Hannah would settle here.If she could leave once, couldn’t she do that again?But then he thought about losing her again, and that was only after a handful of days of having her home.She fits here. She always had.
And I want her to choose this place as her own.
If he wanted Hannah in his life in any capacity, he needed to do the one thing he hadn’t been able to do for years.
Apologize.
Then maybe he could remind her of the good stuff, and himself, assuming she didn’t heave something at him, which he certainly deserved.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Foraging normally hadher dancing on air for hours.
Except that Reba insisting they come to the main house for dinner after they’d finished picking strawberries had knotted her belly up. “Maybe I need to call Reba and say we need a rain check for tonight, Neil.”
“You can make all the excuses you want, lass, but it only avoids the issue.”
She pulled herself over the edge of the couch. Neil was carefully laying out the herbs and plants they’d collected on old towels he’d arranged on Will’s ancient dining room table. Green ribbed plantain. Silvery raspberry leaves. The happy yellow flowerheads of calendula and cinquefoil. Beargrass and bitterroot. Red clover. Wild bergamot. Solomon’s seal. They’d even found some self-heal on the way back, creeping along the edge of the ranch’s western grasslands where cattle roamed. And yarrow, of course, with its white flowers. “We’ll be able to do some good with those beauties. I had a couple of text messages from Jolene about people in town asking if she’d share her salve.”
Neil didn’t look up, but she caught his smile as he shovedback the sandy hair on his sunburned brow. “Must feel good to help the people you care about. You were happy today. I could feel the roots coming out of your feet and mingling into the earth. Even though you have two pretty good job offers on the table.”
She knew what was coming, and her chest tightened. The offers had arrived last night from places she’d interviewed with when she’d come back to the US on the earlier visit—one from a well-known Denver wellness center and the other from a Santa Fe herbal cooperative. Neither one would allow her to reach her goal of running her own place even though the offers were competitive. “Go on and say it.”
“This place provides you with more positives than negatives if we’re being strictly analytical. You’ll run your own herbal practice. You return to a community and people you still care about. Plus, there are new benefits you hadn’t expected.”
“What do you mean?”
