“That’s not it. Hydrangeas are the flowers of forgiveness.”
His face went blank with shock even in the dim moonlight, and that was when she noticed he’d shaved.Oh, Ben…
“Really? Well, don’t that beat all. I did something right.”
The new self-deprecating side made her frown. Shethought about the screw he’d given her. He was afraid to mess up, weighed down by old mistakes. She wanted to touch his arm and encourage him to be easier on himself. He needed to heal too, and the healer in her wanted to help. “In fact, if I remember my flowers right?—”
“Which you do,” he added in a voice even deeper and richer than usual.
“White ones mean that you’redeeplysorry and you want a fresh start.”
He shoved his boot against the ground and set them to rocking. “Consider them your new flower. Any idea what flowers convey a man’s groveling? I meant to ask after I’d apologized last night, but we didn’t get to it. Maybe it’s better we talk about how now. I will do literallyanythingto make things right.”
She couldn’t laugh because she felt too emotional. “Ben, you don’t need to grovel.”
“Sure I do.” He cleared his throat, a low rumble as the crickets continued their night song. “Just to give me a sense. On a scale of one to ten, how good are you and me?”
She turned and blinked at him. “You want tomeasureit?”
“Yeah, it seems logical. If I know the number, I can improve it. Like I do my cattle prices. Forget I said that…”
This time, she laughed. “You and your logic. I’m not sure a number is useful.”
“Mine is six,” he offered quickly. “Sitting on this here porch raised it two points. I’m glad you came out, Hannah.”
“Me too, Ben.”
And she was, even as she told herself to remember who she was now. Going all girlish like she used to with him wasn’t mature. But Jolene’s words were ones she had to consider.
Ben McAllister can still make you light up like the sun.
Maybe that was why she hadn’t been able to fall for Neilor anyone else she’d gone out with, not that there had been many. Her lack of interest had depressed her.
The pull to him was still there as well as the desire to talk to him. Learn more about him. Had she been unable to heal all the way before because what they felt for each other was one in a million? Since they were kids, there had been a potent bond, and it was still there. She could trust herself to see what it meant now, where they were in their lives.
“Last night I talked about Scotland,” she began cautiously. “Tell me more about your life now.”
He pushed off the ground, making the swing groan some. “Well, my responsibilities to the ranch have increased.”
She looked straight ahead at all he managed now. The barns and sheds and other outbuildings filled with animals. The bunkhouses for the ranch hands who helped him work the land. “Does it ever feel like a lot? You didn’t think you’d be running this place so early.”
“Will’s accident changed things,” he said. “I did what was needed.”
Classic Ben speak. “Tell me more about Cooper.”
“Ah…my little buckaroo.” He twisted on the swing, stopping the swinging motion abruptly. “He hits the hay early, thank God. He loves it here, and I love him growing up like I did, running around with his dog, exploring the land, and doing what’s his to do. I’m glad he’s taken a liking to you—not that I’m surprised, as you always had a way with young’uns. The Prentice boys are proof of that.”
“He’s a fine boy, Ben.” She almost patted his arm, smiling because he clearly found it easier to talk about his son. “You’ve done a great job with him.”
He was silent before giving an awkward shrug. “I suppose my life is different with him. There’s suppertime and bathtime and bedtime, and when school starts up again, there’s homework,” he finished quickly. “I’d like to say I’m better in some ways because of him.”
Her chest filled with an aching tenderness.
Then he turned and looked at her, his dark eyes full of emotion. “Like I used to be because of you.”
There it was. That undeniable connection between them. This time, he leaned closer. She was aware of the scent of leather, man, and the outdoors. Man, he still smelled the same. The hard planes of his face were leaner somehow, but it was the steely gaze that sent her pulse tripping.
“I’m so glad you’re back, Hannah,” he whispered, almost reverently.
