“Women like that don’t care any,” Gramps said in a savage voice. “They’re nothing but a bunch of clatterfarts.”
“Clatterfarts is too nice for them,” his father snapped, throwing aside his napkin.
“For once, I agree with you both,” Grams said, scanning the table. “Which is why you’re getting by with that word at dinner.”
“You okay, Ben?” Will only asked, his voice filled with concern.
He tried to smile to assure them. But all he could do was shake his head, feeling his throat clog. “My boy…” He had to pull himself together. “My boy felt like he was a mistake. BecauseImade one. I knew this talk would come someday. It’s been my worst nightmare, but hearing him sob his little heart out? Knowing I’d caused it? Maybe I’m the one you should be calling names. Not those shortsighted women in town.”
“Benjamin McAllister!” Grams stood and walked over to him, putting both her soft hands on his chest. “Dear heart. Listen to your grams. We haven’t spoken much about what happened out of sense of giving you your privacy. You’re a grown man, after all, and a proud one. But seeing you hurt like this and talk so badly about yourself, I won’t be silent.”
When she tapped his chest gently, he worried about his vision blurring because of the wetness in his eyes.
“It’s time to stop blaming yourself. I’ve watched you pick yourself up after what happened and do everything you could to make it right. Was it a tough lesson? No one knows that better than you. But when I look at you and Cooper, all I see are blessings. Everyone at the table agrees with me too. You think on that.”
Then she patted his cheek, her eyes filled with love, andwalked back to the table where Gramps took her hand. His father sent him an assuring nod while Will pointed at Grams and gave a thumbs-up. Will had told him he was tired of seeing his brother punish himself.
God, he was tired too.
He stood there, fighting his emotions. “Thank you…I’ll be back in a sec.”
When he let himself out of the house, he took one deep cleansing breath after another. Somehow hearing how they felt about what he’d done—really done—had lessened the weight inside. They’d never said much, and he’d wondered if it was because they’d been so disappointed. Perhaps they had been, because they had a right to be.
Except that wasn’t what he’d felt in that room. He’d felt compassion and love and even their hurt—for him and Cooper.Theywere the blessings.
But maybe it was time to start thinking better about himself. All his self-loathing had done was make him angry and push away the people he loved, who loved him. First, Hannah, and then Will. These past few weeks, he’d had a second chance to repair those relationships, and that was a blessing too.
He started walking up the yard toward the other blessing in his life. His heart beat faster as he increased his stride. Hannah had held his boy with such care and kindness…even if it might have hurt her.She had put Cooper first, and not many women could do that. Then again, she’d always been one in a million.
And what had been a horrible evening suddenly filled him with renewed purpose.
CHAPTER THIRTY
She was makinga Hurt Buster roller for Cooper—a simple blend of olive oil and a couple of drops of lavender essential oil—when someone knocked on the door.
Heading to the front, she blinked in surprise at the person standing there. “Ben, what are you doing here? Is Cooper okay?”
He cupped her cheek tenderly, his handsome face grooved from sorrow but somehow filled with peace. “Thank you for what you did with Cooper. For understanding. For being you. I have a mind to hug you. Would that be all right?”
She didn’t hesitate. Stepping closer, she wound her arms around the strong, solid warmth of his body. The fit was still perfect, and her heart gave a quiet sigh. She felt like she was coming home. “I’m so sorry. Ben, it must have been awful for you.”
His hands cradled her to his chest gently, as if she were the most precious piece of china. “It was, but there have been some surprising silver linings.”
“I’m glad.” She rubbed his tense shoulders before drawing back to caress his jaw. “I feel awful about what my return has stirred up.”
“So you’re feeling bad too, huh?” He chucked her under the chin. “Please don’t. None of this is your fault. Although I’m not one to talk. Grams told me to stop punishing myself. In fact, can you craft a tea for me? Something that doesn’t taste like bathwater? Because I’ll drink it by the bucketful. I don’t want to walk around feeling like this anymore, carrying around all this blame and guilt.”
A light seemed to shine in her chest. She felt so aglow inside. He’d always tried to be so tough, but in the face of such hurt, maintaining that veneer was costly. “I can make you a tea. I was actually preparing something for Cooper to ease the hurt and calm him down when he’s upset.”
A breathtaking smile broke out across his handsome face. “Well, aren’t we lucky to have someone like you helping us. Thank you.”
His gratitude was evident in his deep voice, and it made her feel special and grateful that he was accepting of her gifts. “You’re welcome. Is there anything else I can do?”
“Yes, in fact. I wanted to do something special for him. He loves a good cookout with roasting marshmallows, and he asked me to invite you to join us. If you want to, that is…”
Her heart was as open as it ever was, because of Cooper, yes, but also because of the beautiful man standing in front of her, smiling with a new tenderness. “Are you sure it’s okay?”
“Absolutely,” he replied without hesitation.
