“She admitted she had planned to move out.” Cole steps closer, voice calmer than mine by a fucking mile. “There’s probably a lot more to it than that.”
“I don’t care what more there is to it,” I snap.“She was going to bail.”
“Or maybe she was scared,” Maddox says.
I shake my head. “You didn’t see her face when I brought it up.”
Cole gives me a long look. “And, again, you didn’t let her explain. Are you even listening to us?”
I exhale through my nose and drag both hands down my face. My skin feels hot. My bones feel heavy. And I’m so, so fucking tired.
“I can’t do this again,” I mutter.
Neither of them speaks.
“You know what the best part is?” I ask, staring at the floor as I drop into the chair opposite Cole’s desk. “I knew better. I knew better than to let someone get that close to Penelope. I knew better than to let myself get stupid over a woman in my house. I knew better than to care about her.”
Cole’s voice softens a fraction. “Gray.”
“The last nanny leaves, and Pen thinks it’s her fault. Halsey flakes, and Pen thinks it’s her fault. Every damn time a woman disappears, my kid internalizes it like she did something wrong.” My throat feels thick now, the anger morphing. “So yeah, I’m thinking about that too. I’m thinking about having to look at my daughter and explain why Carly is gone, and I’m thinking about how much it’s going to hurt her, and how much it’s going to hurt me to watch her blame herself and sob for hours or days or however long it takes for the hurt to pass in a fucking four-year-old.”
Maddox shifts, quieter now. “You don’t know that’s where this ends.”
“I do.”
“You don’t.”
“I do,” I snap, louder this time. “Because I’m not doing this halfway. If she wants out, she’s out. I want her gone before Penelope gets more attached than she already is.”
Cole studies me for a second like he’s deciding whether to argue or hit me. “You’re attached, too.”
I don’t bother answering.
He sighs and rubs a hand over his jaw. “You love her.”
I let out a short, wrecked laugh. It's not even a question in myself anymore. I knew it weeks ago. “Yeah.”
The office goes quiet again.
For a second, all I can hear is the dull thump of music out in the taproom and the pulse beating behind my eyes.
Then I push to my feet.
“I’m going home.”
Chapter 35
Carly
I makeit to the parking lot before I break.
One minute I’m walking fast enough that my heels wobble, one hand clamped around the stupid little clutch I brought for this stupid wedding, the other trying to hold my dress up out of the way, and the next I can’t breathe.
It hits me all at once.
The church. The reception. Aaron’s face. Grayson’s face. The look in his eyes when he said he saw my phone.
Like I was filth.
