I glance back toward our tables. Her friend is pretending not to watch us with all the subtlety of a raccoon in a trash can. Maddox lifts his beer at me when our eyes meet, the bastard.
I face Carly again. “Why do you want to do this?”
That makes her pause.Not long, but just long enough that I know the answer matters.“It sounds like you need help,” she says finally. “And if I’m being entirely honest, I’m living on my friend’s couch right now and a live-in job sounds like it would fix both of our problems.”
My brows raise in surprise.
“But I’m also good with kids and like them a lot,” she offers. “I used to babysit through college to make ends meet. I can give you references, even, if you want them.”
A sigh slips out of me. I have no reason to turn her down.“If you do this, Penelope comes first. If there’s a work problem and a Penny problem at the same time, you choose her. I care about her far more than I do the company.”
“Of course.”
“I’m serious.”
“So am I.”
The words hit harder the second time.
I look at her for a long moment, weighing it all: her competence, my desperation, and most importantly, the absolute stupidity of putting a woman I am deeply, inconveniently attracted to inside my home.
Then again, attraction is manageable.I’m a grown man, not a teenager with a pulse and no discipline. I can handle wanting someone, especially when that someone is almost half my age, and I can handle keeping my distance.
I’ve handled worse.
“Look, this is what I’d want,” I start, keeping my eyes locked on the bar. “You’d have to meet Penelope first. If she likes you, we move forward. If she doesn’t, we don’t.”
She nods. “Okay.”
“We could do something tomorrow since we’re both off. Neutral territory. A park. Something… I don’t know,easy.”
A tiny smile touches her mouth. “You’re scheduling a playdate to interview me?”
“I’m vetting you. And if this happens, boundaries matter.”
Her smile fades. “Understood.”
“Work is still work. Home is still home. Penelope’s routine doesn’t get disrupted any more than it currently is, and if at any point this stops making sense, we end it. Cleanly.”
She studies me for a beat. “Is that it?”
I want to say no. I want to draw a hard line in the sand, tell the truth that I think she’s attractive and might find this difficult. But I don’t. I lie. “Think so.”
If I were honest, I’d say that sitting beside her at this bar, talking about preschool drop-off and design meetings and evenings at my house, is making me already picture her in my kitchen or on my couch laughing with Penelope, or standing too close to me in the quiet after my daughter goes to sleep.
I promoted her because of her skill, yes, but I only felt comfortable because I knew damn well that I wouldn’t act on anything at work, that I wouldn’t cross a line with a woman I’ve been eyeing more seriously for the last two weeks and occasionally beforehand. It was contained. It was easy.But this is far more than that.
Carly smooths her palm over her thigh and lifts her chin again. “I’m still interested.”
I search her face one last time for hesitation big enough to let me call this off before it starts, butI don’t find it. Instead, I find nerves she’s trying hard not to show, determination underneath them, and a kind of stubborn courage that both grates me and intrigues me.
I let the silence stretch just enough to make us both feel it.
“Okay,” I say, half because I don’t have any other options and half because I want to. “I’ll text you tomorrow morning with a time and place to meet Penelope.”
“You’re sure tomorrow is best?” she asks, watching me like a hawk. "I don’t want to seem flaky already, but I heard what you said to your friend about her crying over the last nanny leaving. I just don’t want to overwhelm her when she’s already struggling.”
“I appreciate the concern, but I’m not dragging this out,” I say, slipping down off the stool. “My life is already on fire.”
