Cole’s brows crease in the center. “You do you, man, but being publicly off the market seems like it might put a damper on your... recent lifestyle.”
I bark out a laugh that has no humor in it. “Mylifestyle?”
“Your recent streak of casually dating women with no intention of letting any of them matter to you.”
“That is not a thing.”
“It’s absolutely a thing.”
I grab another axe. “It’s been at least six months, for your information.”
Cole arches a brow. “That supposed to help your case?”
“I’m divorced. I’m allowed to sleep around a bit before committing to anything, especially when I have a kid to think about.”
“Might struggle doing that when you’re being public about this.”
I throw harder than I need to. The axe hits high, then drops with an ugly scrape.“Fuck’s sake,” I mutter.
Cole snorts. “You kissed the nanny. You don’twantto want the nanny, but you do. You made her your fake girlfriend instead of firing her to eliminate temptation, and now you’re pretending that’s somehow the more rational route. I’m not saying I’m judging. I’m just saying I don’t understand.”
“Look, I’m not going to be the reason Penny loses another nanny.” My voice is strong and sure, like if I say it with enough certainty it might become true. “I’m not going to fuck her. It’s not going to happen.”
“I mean, I’m not the one who broughtfucking herinto the conversation…”
I throw another axe harder than I should, jumping slightly as it bounces back off the board.
He studies me for a second, then reaches for another axe. “I can’t tell if you’re trying to tell yourself these things or me.”
“Doesn’t matter,” I say, because I apparently enjoy making my own life worse, “she’s not interested, anyway.”
Cole turns slowly. “I’m sorry. The woman who you said asked you, while drunk, if you’d bealone together,isn’t interested?”
“She was tipsy.”
“Gray.”
“I don’t think she meant it like that anymore.”
“Buddy.”
“I kissed her and she barely reacted.”
He stares at me for a beat. “You think she didn’t freeze and then spiral after that?”
Fuck.
I hate that he might be right.
Carly throws me off entirely. I don’t know how to read her, not really. She’s quiet in a way that feels loaded, not empty, like there’s too much happening under the surface and she’s trying to keep every bit of it buttoned up. At work she’s all careful professionalism and lowered lashes and clipped little answers that somehow still manage to be smart as hell. And at home she’s warmer, softer around the edges, quicker to laugh, amazing with Penelope.
And she’s beautiful. Too beautiful for me to be around so often without my head wandering and imagining her beneath me.
That last thought gets shoved into a locked box in the back of my skull where it belongs.
Cole watches me bury it alive with a look that says he knows exactly what my thoughts are doing. “So let me get this straight. Your player days are magically over for the moment, the woman in your house is absolutely not into you, and the fake relationship you created is totally strategic.”
“Yes.”
