Shame settles in quickly. It’s her, it’s Carly, it’s messy— I’m supposed to be better than this.
Fuck.
Chapter 15
Carly
Eleven Weeks
Boulder Canyon Cafeis only a five-minute drive from Pen’s school, and I have almost an hour to kill before I have to be at work since Grayson’s been overly cautious with my start time. The decision is too easy, too safe, and too tempting to pass up.
The bell over the door jingles when I walk in, and the smell hits me first — espresso, cinnamon, toasted bread, that buttery-sweet scent from the pastry case. I should love this,haveloved this in the past, but my god, all it does is make my pulse tick up and my throat close. Too many mornings getting ready in here have soured what would normally feel like a treat.
The café’s warmer than the frigid temperatures outside, but it’s loud. Milk hisses in metal jugs, dishes clink together, a toddler screeches in her stroller, a business man talks too loudly into his phone. It’s chaotic, and I hate it now, but it’s worth it to pop in for a quick drink and my best friend.
Zoe looks up from the espresso machine and clocks me instantly.
“Oh, no,” she says as I approach the counter. “What happened?”
I blink at her, wondering what the hell she saw on my face that has her questioning me already. “Good morning to you too. What do you mean?”
“Don’tgood morningme with that expression. You look like you’ve been through the wars.”
“Thewars?”
“Mhm.” She wipes her hands on a towel and leans in. “Large cappuccino or medium?”
“Large.”
I slide onto my usual stool at the far end of the counter while she makes my drink, quiet while she chats with a regular customer, and when Zoe sets a cappuccino in front of me with a leaf in the foam, it’s so pretty I feel guilty touching it.
As soon as the regular is gone, she folds her arms over her chest and gives me a look that clearly saysstart talking.
“Okay, so things are complicated,” I admit.
“With billionaire nanny life?”
I wince. “Yes.”
She snorts as she starts working on another drink. “Complicatedhow? From what you said, there’s a heated pool, a kitchen bigger than my apartment, a bathtub with jets attached to your room, and you’re making fucking insane money. What, exactly, could the catch be?”
“The catch,” I say, “is that my boss has two entirely different personalities and I am unfortunately way too attracted to both of them.”
Her lips twitch up at the corner, a smirk forming. “I told you this would be a problem.”
“Shut up.” I take another sip. “It’s like he can’t decide if he wants to keep his distance or be casual with me.”
“Explain.”
“At work, he’s stoic and barely talks to me.” I huff a breath through my nose. “And then he comes home, and he’s in total dad-mode, calmer. He’ll come in wearing one of those stupid suits, looking like a man in a cologne ad, and then turn right around and make her dinosaur-shaped toast while grinning at me over his shoulder. It’s disgusting and it’s so fucking hot, Zoe, I’m going insane.”
Zoe presses a fist to her mouth. “Oh, youarein danger.”
“You have no idea.”
Her eyes narrow. “Why do you say that like there’s more?”
I shouldn’t say it.I know I shouldn’t say it, shouldn’t talk about it, shouldn’t make the situation worse by telling people or warping the memory in my head. But keeping it inside hasn’t exactly made me any more sane. “He, uh... He kissed me.”
