“That’s what you lead with?” Gray laughs, rolling his eyes as he pats him on the shoulder.
The night keeps unfolding around me. Jackson tells a story so dryly that it takes me ten full seconds to realize it’s a joke. Mandy ropes me into a conversation about design since she works in interior design, and immediately starts asking questions about my work that make me feel seen in a way I didn’t expect. Wade talks about the resort like it’s his favorite place in the world, and Ray leans over the back of the couch to wrap her arms aroundhis neck, listening with a smile. Dana sits cross-legged on the sofa with Lucy asleep on her chest, looking happier than any exhausted person has a right to, while Cole kisses the side of her head like it’s second nature.
And through all of it, nobody makes me feel like an outsider.Nobody acts like I’m a guest Grayson brought out of obligation.Nobody treats me like the quiet little employee in the corner.
Somewhere between the second round of appetizers and Cole mock-arguing with Grayson over the best college football stadium in the country, I hear myself laugh wholeheartedly without thinking about it first.
I catch Grayson watching me from across the room. And to my absolute surprise,he’s smiling.Smiling.At me.
My laughter dies off, my eyes locked on him as Cole keeps talking.It’s not a huge smile, but it’s small, soft, private. It changes his whole face, makes him appear gentler, kind, and not at all like the hothead who fucked me against the wall last night.
I look away first.
“You two should come up to Colchester in a couple of weeks,” Wade offers as the evening starts winding to a close. I’m halfway through putting my jacket back on, but I pause with one arm through the hole.
“Oh, uh, maybe,” I say, not sure what the right response is. I don’t even know if half of these people know that I’m just his employee.
“It’d be fun,” Mandy cuts in. “Fresh snow, good food. We could make a weekend of it, tack it on to Cole’s celebrations. We can make all the bad decisions.”
“Some of us are trying to make fewer bad decisions,” Cole says dryly.
“Okay,moderatedecisions,” Mandy corrects.
Grayson comes up behind me, grabs his coat from the rack, and slips his arms inside.“We’ll come.”
I blink up at him, confusion whirling in my brain already. He agreed, just like that, no fuss, no confusion, no concern.
“What, you don’t want to embarrass yourself on the slopes?” He says, his lips tilting up at the corner as his hand comes to rest at the small of my back again. The heat of it melts through my shirt, and I have to control my breathing to keep my pulse in check.
“I—N-no, I’m down,” I stutter, forcing myself to be a person.
“Good. Put your jacket on. We’ve gotta get Penny.”
Wade nods, satisfied. “I’ll check the calendar and let you know. Make sure we’ve got rooms for everyone.”
I get through the last few minutes of goodbyes on edge, but still feeling welcome. And as we’re walking to the car through the falling snow, I can feel something inside of me shift.
That sense of belonging and ease with his friends might be more dangerous than everything else. More than the sex, more than the secrecy, more than the fact that my boss can look at me across a crowded room and somehow make my pulse spike and my chest ache.
I like this. I likehim. Even with the infuriating confidence that makes me want to throw something at his head and climb him like a tree.
I like the way he shows up for his friends.I like that his daughter adores him and vice versa.I like that he brought me here without making it weird, then let me find my footing without hovering.I like these people, like the way Dana let me hold Lily like she trusted me, like Mandy’s sharp humor and Wade’s easy charm and the way Cole saysGraylike they’ve known each other through all highs and lows.
And tonight, surrounded by all of it, only solidified how much I want life and friendships to feel like this.
It isn’t just that I want him.
It’s that I might want the life that comes with him, too.
Chapter 19
Grayson
The first tenminutes of the drive out to Colchester Ski Resort are quiet enough that I start hearing myself recount every mistake I've made with this woman in surround sound inside my head.
I don’t usually mind silence. I like it, most days, and prefer it to pointless chatter and people filling space for the sake of hearing themselves talk. But this silence has edges. It sits in the car with us, sharp and deliberate, built out of two careful weeks of distance and restraint and pretending the line we crossed hasn’t been etched in the back of my skull.
Two weeks.
