The bond, warm and steady, offered no opinion.
Chapter 12
Andrek
Overtheyearsofmilitary command, I developed a reliable method for handling unclear situations. First, I noted the information available. Second, I identified the most probable interpretation. Then I acted on it.
It had worked for me so many times before, so, as was natural, I applied it to Dani’s withdrawal from me.Of course she withdrew after you kissed her and wrapped your wings around her. She’s your employee!
For the last five days, on the surface, she was normal. She was still warm and friendly, completing her tasks, present at meals, and perfect with Pip. I missed her sitting beside me in the evenings. She did not linger in doorways or arrive in the kitchen in the mornings with her hair still disordered from sleep, prepared to disagree with me about the correct temperature forbrewing grain tea. When I entered a room something in her posture changed, as though she were pushing away from me.
The most probable interpretation was obvious, and I hated the thought that crossed my mind.
She wanted to leave.
Something during Pip’s illness had clarified for her that this arrangement was not what she wanted. Perhaps it had been the bond itself, the empathic demand of it during the fever’s peak. The bond drained me too. Maybe it had been the three close days we spent together with no professional buffer, seeing the domestic reality of what her life here actually consisted of.
In my mind, the conclusion was logical, and unacceptable.
On the sixth day of Dani’s coolness, I reviewed the standard contract terms during Pip’s morning rest period, which I conducted in my study with the door closed and the data pad angled so its contents would not be visible if she passed the doorway.
The terms were straightforward. Either party could initiate termination with thirty days’ notice. There were provisions for Pip’s welfare of transition protocols, and adjustment periods. I inserted those after drafting this new contract when the last nanny left.
I could facilitate Dani’s departure if she wanted to leave. I tried to hide it, but Pip knew something was wrong. She moved between Dani and me with a diplomatic energy, offering her presence to each of us in turn, pressing herself against our legs and into our laps. Her tiny claws investigated our faces in the way she did when she was concerned, but she never made her distress signal sound. She simply watched us with her large bright eyes.
I was doing a poor job of protecting my daughter from my turbulent emotions.
On the morning of the eighth day, I found Dani standing at the kitchen counter.Now or never. Things are getting worse, and you need to talk to her.
“I’ve reviewed the contract terms,” I said.
Dani looked up from what she was doing. Her expression unreadable. “Okay,” she said, her tone questioning.
“The termination provisions are straightforward. Thirty days for transition. I would propose a modified timeline given Pip’s recent illness, perhaps forty-five, to allow for a more stable adjustment.” I kept my voice level. This was a professional conversation, and I was conducting it as her employer “I want you to know that I will not make this difficult. I understand that the situation has developed in ways that may not be what you wanted when you signed on.”
“What?”
“I also want to be clear,” I continued, because I was committed now, “that your decisions affect Pip. She is attached to you in ways that will require time and care to…”
“What,” Dani said, “are you talking about?”
Her voice held confusion and had an edge to it I had never heard before.
“The contract,” I said. “The termination…”
“I never said I wanted to terminate anything.”
I looked at her. Her pupils widened, and color filled her cheeks.
“Well, you’ve been,” I began.
“I’ve beenquiet,” she said. “I’ve been… I needed some distance, I needed to think, that doesn’t mean…” she stopped and pressed her hand to her face. When she took it away, the color in her cheeks was higher. “Did you actually go andreview the contract terms?”
“It seemed like the responsible approach.”
“Withouttalking to me?”
“I was attempting to be prepared to.”
