Her hand was on the doorhandle, and Celestine knew that she ought to have just opened it and walked out. What good would come from staying in the room? What did she even want?
But his words… they lit a fire inside of her. And Celestine had never been much good at backing down from an argument. They didn’t call her ‘mad’ for nothing.
“I am not running.” She turned on him as he came for her. “Nor have I ever.”
“Perhaps running is the wrong word?” Edward said. “What I have heard of you this last week, it is not so much running that you have done but giving up entirely.”
“How dare you!”
He was on her. Less than a foot away, he stood over her as if he tried to frighten her. And while his words were harsh, the look in his eyes was something else. She met those eyes, held them, and she saw… was it sadness?
“I thought I knew you,” he said darkly as he stood over her. “The Celestine who I thought I had come to know, she would have never given in so easily. Was that not the entire point? The very reason you agreed to our false engagement? So that you would not have to worry about others pursuing you.” He scoffed. “How wrong I was.”
“You…” She bared her teeth, doing her best to push him back. “You have no idea what you are talking about.”
“I do,” he said. “And if I had any doubts, what I saw tonight confirmed it. So, please, go. There are a bevy or other suitors outside waiting for you, and I would hate to keep you.”
“I am not…” She started to shake with anger. “Why do you even care? What business is it of yours?”
“It is not my business,” he said. “I just don’t like liars.”
“Ha!” she scoffed. “Coming from you? All you have done since we met is lie about who you are. And the only time you did not lie…” She felt her chin wobble, but she could not say why. “No, I suppose that everything you said was false. You truly are what people say.”
“You do not know me,” he growled.
“I do.” She looked up at him. “And because I do, I can say without blinking that I am glad for what happened between us. Yes, I will likely have to marry another, but I shall sleep soundly at night knowing that will not be to you.”
She glared at Edward as if she hated him. And he glared at her as if he felt the same. The room around them both vanished, the moment consumed them like a fire, and Celestine’s thoughts blurred between what she said and what she knew to be the truth.
No, she did not hate him. But if this here was the man who she thought that she had known, maybe she should have. He was not just petty, but cruel and vindictive, and she was better off without him.
Or so she told herself…
“Now, if you have nothing else to say…” She flashed her eyes warningly. “I will go now and if I never see you again, let us call that a victory.”
She should have opened the door then and stormed out. The only thing that stopped her was the look that Edward still held behind his eyes. He tried so hard to find anger and hurt, but the sadness was there, and he made her see it as if he wanted her to know how he truly felt.
“It was not all lies,” he said, his voice dropping. “I… I am sorry, Celestine…” He looked away with shame. “I should not have… what I said just now…” He winced. “You have found me in a bad place. Forgive me.”
She shook her head. “What do you want, Edward? Are you angry with me? Are you upset? I did as you asked, as we promised.”
“I know.”
“Then why are you attacking me? You know I do not want to marry, just as you know I have no choice. Please…” Her hand was shaking but she reached out and took his hand in hers. He flinched at her touch but did not pull away. “I do not want you to hate me.”
“I could never hate you.”
“Then why?”
“I… I…” Slowly, he forced himself to look at her. Again, the sadness was in his eyes, but it was paired with something else. And that look was one she recognized.
Celestine’s heart caught in her throat when their eyes met and once again she thought it was best if she fled the room. Only, she knew too that she did not have the strength to do so. Not when he fixed her in that look.
“I have been thinking much this week,” Edward began slowly, careful with each word as he continued to look down at her. “I know the promise that we made, just as I know the reason. But what I do not know, what I cannot escape from, is whether we did the right thing.”
“We had no choice,” she said. “You know that.”
“Do I?” His eyes flicked to her lips. “This week, I could not help but feel as if I lost something. And when I saw you tonight, I realized that I did.”
