Consequently, she had sworn off love as a result.
That was when she took on the moniker of ‘the Mad Hargrave Sister,’ determined to never trust again, to never give her heart out, and to never waste time in courtship or romance because if she could be so easily tricked by a man who she had little to do with, what chance did she have with a man who wanted her?
“Lord Edmonton…” Her sister sneered. “Do not judge all men based on him. After all, if I had done the same, I would not be married and in love. And I, more than anyone, should have been broken by him.”
“I know,” Celestine sighed. “But I have spent so long building up these walls that they are not easy to suddenly tear down.”
“Do you trust Edward?” she asked. “Do you… do you love him?”
“Love? No,” she said, knowing it was true. “It is too early for that.”
“And the trust?”
She winced and looked down. “I want to trust him, but how can I? Our relationship was built on a lie. He says the right things, but does he mean them? How can I know for sure?”
“I suppose that only you can answer that question. You have come this far, you know Edward better than anyone. Do you believe what he says? Or do you think he means to trick you?”
She sighed and shook her head. “I do not know what he wants. We ended the engagement, and then he asked for my hand. He told me he did so because he wanted to marry me, that he missed what we had. But there was something else…” She bit into her lip. “It was jealousy. He saw me with Lord Grundon, and he assumed I had moved on.”
“So, he does care for you?”
“Or he does not want to be made to look like a fool,” she said. “Did he ask for my hand because he wants it? Or does he just not want anyone else to have it for themselves?”
Ariadne had no answer. She squeezed Celestine’s knee again, and she fixed her with a look of pity and hope as if that would be enough.
Since the day that Celestine had started her fake courtship with Edward, she had determined to be herself, never once lying about who she was, or acting in a way that she thought Edward might like. He knew who she was for that reason, and she wanted to believe that he liked that about her.
Then she thought of the last time that she saw him, alone in that room, how they had kissed and done other unspeakable acts together. It was almost too good to be true, and that was the fear.
Does he care for me? Or is it all a lie…
Celestine had no way of knowing, just as she knew that this marriage was set to happen no matter what. And while there was a part of her that was excited, that wanted it because she did care for Edward, that same part brought untold amounts of fear.
She had felt pain once, that which tore her in two, and that which changed her irrevocably. As strong as Celestine was, she knew that she would not survive if that same pain visited her again.
Chapter Sixteen
Edward arrived at Fairbrook Manor early in the afternoon. He sat atop his horse, watching the manor appear in the distance, and he was truly surprised by the very real fact that he was excited.
The marriage itself did not bring this excitement. Oh sure, he was committed to it, as he knew that he should be. And he was certain that he had made the right decision. But marriage had never been something that Edward yearned for, so there was no reason that this might suddenly change.
Rather, the excitement felt was for his soon-to-be wife.
For two days he had done little but think about the last time he had seen her. The passion. The intensity. The sheer desire felt by both and then explored and shown in the most animalistic of ways. He thought about their kiss. He thought about how she had given in to him, wanted him, craved him as if he was life itself. And most of all, he thought about her taste.
As he rode his horse, a warmth spread through his legs and up his body as he pictured the look in her eyes when he licked his fingers clean. Oh, how that had broken her final defense, forcing her to give in to his request. And oh, how he wanted more.
As I am sure that she does…
There was a small part of him that worried also. So intense had that moment been that he wondered if her saying yes to him was brought purely from her arousal, and now that time had passed, would she regret her decision? Worse, would he regret it? What if when he saw her, he was brought back to reality, suddenly made aware of how permanent this arrangement was and the awful mistake he had made?
He needed to see her. He needed to know that this was right. And most of all, he needed to taste her once more…
The moment that Edward walked into Fairbrook Manor and laid his eyes upon Celestine, he knew that he had made the right choice.
She stood at the base of the stairs in waiting. Her hands folded before her. Her head bowed slightly as if from nerves. But she glanced up when he strode through the doors, their eyes met, and he saw a spark behind them that saw those memories he’d been living in return as if a tidal wave washed over him.
Her face was as beautiful as he remembered. Her lips… those expressive eyes… the expression she wore that was both combative and daring of him to challenge it. Her gown wassimple, not too tight, but it could not hide her curves, and Edward ran his eyes over them purposefully, imagining their feel beneath his hands, just as he imagined her soft moans when he held her.
